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Open Poetry #21
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2002-06-18 03:04 AM


Drawn into the fold  
around the neck lace line

wrapped up in you
around the heart of me

silk slips on lips
in the warmth sunkist

a place to dwell
in the real you sea

a four letter word
a heart beat at risk

an open space
if you care to be

but without the pulse
flowing through the veins

and the constant rhythm
of a beat to keep

is a failed attempt
a restless sigh

a pitter patter
half a love alive.....


© Copyright 2002 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
1 posted 2002-06-18 07:43 AM


bluezy...that pitter patter had me squirmin for a bit...but then i realized it was your heart not the feet of a hundred pound pitbull..

enjoyed you

elfin_tigress
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101
Someplace
2 posted 2002-06-18 09:20 AM


Awww!
A very nice poem.  I like how the stanzas are so small, just tiny bites for us to understand before we try to move on.  

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
3 posted 2002-06-18 09:22 AM


a wonderful pitter patter of feelings and thoughts - thanks - Paul
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2002-06-18 09:25 AM


Nothing to squirm about, somehow I
can't quite picture that!  
Nice try though~  

Thank you stranger~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2002-06-18 09:33 AM


Morning elfin~
thank you for leaving such a sweet reply to my little nibble of a poem.     

I'm not always sure where I'm going with my poetry but I'm happy you enjoyed where it ended up this time.  Thank you Paul~

Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
6 posted 2002-06-18 10:50 AM


The style and presentation precicely match the message, very well done Lori! Excellent!
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
7 posted 2002-06-18 03:40 PM


Very nice, I like the thoughts here, well expressed, too.
Sandra

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
8 posted 2002-06-18 07:57 PM


I love your little pitter patter of a poem, Lori...
~ pitter patter hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2002-06-18 10:26 PM


BluesSerenade~
You captured something very special in this penning~

It breathes .... *sighs*~
Lovely ...~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
10 posted 2002-06-18 10:28 PM


Ahhh, exceptional write!
A bow to you poet! ThisDiamond

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2002-06-18 11:10 PM




(smiles) YAY!!! Oh Lori, this is such a beautifully exceptional write, sweet friend, the metronome of a lovers heartbeat is the assurance that it will always last forever, for if it beats unconstantly, it is really onely half-beating! (kiss on cheek) This is fabulous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
12 posted 2002-06-19 01:13 AM


Is love floating on the wind? sure seems that way....hugsssss you....


Lauren~

Its been a long road
Getting from there to here
Ive known a wind so cold, seen the darkest days
but now the winds I feel are only winds of change

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
13 posted 2002-06-19 04:41 AM


You got the message across well in this and the emptiness of feeling incomplete in love creeps deeply into the reader's mind
Good work!

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
14 posted 2002-06-19 09:34 AM


Sometimes the quietest sounds can be heard for miles!!
Thunder catches you off gaurd, traffic endless ...
but the two things I find most deafening are teardrops and a single heartbeat.

I liked the presentation here .... your words are resounding ...
an echo of your feelings.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
15 posted 2002-06-19 08:57 PM


You're so sweet!  Thank you Dulci and hugs~

Thank you for saying so Sandra~ It's nice to know you were here and that you enjoyed what I had to say, I mean that!

Hi Lyra~ I prefer a drum roll myself and the anticipation of it all!
warm hugs and thank you~

Margie~ Thank you for hearing me...no sense in dancing around the subject, long as you can catch your breath and keep love alive.
That is the general idea right?
Thank you again~

Thank you Diamond Lady I am much obliged to you, and just a little caught off guard by your gracious reply coming from someone
who writes so well.  Thank you muchly~

Noah~ Half a heart will miss the beat every time I would say. Thank you poet sir~  
I appreciate your kind thoughts.

Lauren!!!!  More like drifting in and out of the clouds, always seems to be a day dream away~  So what else is new?
Thanks for being here ...you!!   hugs Lauren~

ethome~ Poetry is a range of emotions, is it not?  I like to think when we have made our message clear then we have accomplished more than just a poem.  
I thank you for your knowing reply.

Craig~  You are so good to me, and I am touched by your reply.  Thank you for warming my heart with your kind words.
I'm going to stop now before I start blubbering!  

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