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Open Poetry #21
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Outside Understanding
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Outside Understanding |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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Friable imposters love and passion, always fading, like water drying up in a weed choked ditch in verisimilitude but outside understanding. Once we were dedicated to the ribbon at the finish line. Faultlessly prepared, bold in bearing, fueled with pride, hunters unfeigned with prowess like young argonauts, in quest of romantic fleece. Outwardly then, our nature can change and be callous, insensible, utterly disparaging, discernably hard. Chords rusted, hiding from being struck again. Feelings left for dead in broken miserable breasts. No more moonlit strolls, fireside philosophy, snug fast homefront. We speak to others disguised outside understanding, with passionless white lips comporting. Melancholy shades of life these, no love, no passion, not sharing, outside understanding...... and I sing.... Love keeps taking off and landing where open hearts can't close. And how much good time it can give Lord I'll never know. Just when you think you've got the gift you're standing on your own. With a gaping hole to fill where love once made a home. Chorus. Why do those lovesick fantasies get trampled in the dirt? Where does it say reality will turn them into hurt? What are we searchin for in this stream of time? Outside understanding we see our love decline? Love's always circling and finding victims everywhere. A thrill to drill into souls of lovers unaware. Just when you think you're on a trip you miss the thoroughfare and the love you're travelling with crashes in despair. Love lies outside understanding offering a prize. Where the heart is too demanding and there's none too wise. Just when you think you're over it, it's bigger than your eyes. Once again you start to slip back into paradise..................... Rep Chorus: The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up |
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| © Copyright 2002 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Eric This was such a powerful piece of writing that I really loved. The images portrayed through your words are still dancing around in my head. This part would have to be my favourite : "Just when you think you're on a trip you miss the thoroughfare......" I really loved that bit! Take care......Sue Suetang |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I like the way you did this, Eric...almost two voices, or the same voice using a different medium....the the depth of image, the ache of heart, all so human with a touch of your quick intelligance (had to look up another word). You are a tremendous writer! |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssssss) Oh Eric, this is so very sad, sweet friend, it too hurts me to see love so many times taken out of context, seemingly millions of times and then the whole definition of understanding we wrote the book of always has to be re-written! (sad sigh) I wish for your love forever to be understanding and filled with sincerity, sweet friend, this is sooooo heartwrenchingly touching, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Eric, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
good good poetry and interestingly done - I enjoyed reading it - thanks - Paul |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Love keeps taking off and landing where open hearts can't close. And how much good time it can give Lord I'll never know. Just when you think you've got the gift you're standing on your own. With a gaping hole to fill where love once made a home. Excellent insight, Eric...and very beautifully written, indeed.  ~ lots of hugsLyra |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Feelings left for dead in broken miserable breasts. No more moonlit strolls, fireside philosophy, snug fast homefront. We speak to others disguised outside understanding, with passionless white lips comporting. ===================================== WHOA..that is deep and very cool!! Love keeps taking off and landing where open hearts can't close. And how much good time it can give Lord I'll never know. Just when you think you've got the gift you're standing on your own. With a gaping hole to fill where love once made a home. Love lies outside understanding offering a prize. Where the heart is too demanding and there's none too wise. Just when you think you're over it, it's bigger than your eyes. Once again you start to slip back into paradise..................... =================== This is very cool E-babes...I love the mix of free verse and rhyme..those song verses are cadenced kissed with harmony. Ya got some really great bittersweet lines in this song of lovesick blues. Its only Rock and Roll and me likes it  rock on poet pal...I'll do the rolling!! lol mothyme You ... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
another hit Ethome, well written and the mix of candence and free verse as Jm said is stunning use of poetic power my friend. Very deep and insightful and yep, the title says it all.....EXCELLENT. Another morning smile maker.  I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~~(Garth) [This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (06-18-2002 10:29 AM).] |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Beautiful song, though melancholy. Sandra |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Sometimes I just think you ARE the song... |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I do not know whether you are plucking darts out, or slinging them into my heart with this one Eric |
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alterego Member
since 2002-02-23
Posts 113Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
Caught this one just as I was about to knock off for the night - as I got into it, I started to 'hear' a tune to go with the words (I'm a musician as well as a would-be poet). Think I'll give it a try, if you don't mind. Sad song... country blues.. ss Create something infinite today - Smile!!! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
You can always tell when an artist feels what they create and when you give it to a musician there are going to be emotions and thought running rampid. You succeeded in capturing that essence and found a way to spread it around for the rest of us. The meter and harmony are superb and the lyrics of course untouchable in quality. Very well done Eric and a sheer joy to read. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Once again, you match my mood...it's hard to sleep like this...half of me afraid I'll dream...the other half? Afraid I WON'T. tsk...sure wish I had a hug...*pout* |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
and we repeat the chorus? interesting slices and the knives are still there with frosting dripping enjoyed your art Eman |
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cherrypoptart Member
since 2002-06-09
Posts 109state of wordthiness |
I really like this one a lot! You know why.......Hugs and kisses! [This message has been edited by cherrypoptart (07-01-2002 01:20 PM).] |
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