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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

0 posted 2002-06-16 07:35 PM

Self Made Prisons

They try to
break
through the silence
desperate
the need
of releasing pain
no longer clinging
to their hope
steadily    their faith does wane.

Solitude
becomes their   solace
it can not
become subdued
emotions   full of bleakness
feelings of alone
and confused.

Inispid
is the fading light
hiding the beauty
within   souls
misery delights
in their sorrow
moving in
to sieze control.

Holding on
to memories of past
so precious   is   this highly cost
the search for self
becomes a burden
to heavy
for those who   are feeling lost.

Drowning
in their own darkness
gradually
losing their own   visions
locking themselves,
hidden   away
within
the walls
of self  made  prisons.

06-14-02

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~~(Garth)

[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (06-16-2002 07:41 PM).]

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-06-16 07:57 PM

All I can say is rough. but I still like it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2002-06-16 09:25 PM

It happens but it's sad!
Very good presentation of inner emotions!

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2002-06-16 10:42 PM

  Okay, it's like this. Take everything that I have written, strip away the dreck, lose all the metaphorical gobbildigook, distill the little bit that is left and...Voila! You have Gentle Spirit writing what I could not.
  You seem to have hit my particular nail, square on its' punkin'.
  Kudos, Donna.

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

4 posted 2002-06-17 12:58 PM

Drowning
in their own darkness
gradually
losing their own   visions
locking themselves,
hidden   away
within
the walls
of self  made  prisons.

This is too often the truth, Donna...
you have portrayed it very beautifully.

~ hugs wanting to get free

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

5 posted 2002-06-17 06:24 PM

I think at some point in our lives, we all do this more frequently than we would like to admit. The trick is to make sure we release ourselves before the padded cell comes into play. Wonderful expression and written with a flow that was very enjoyable to read. Well done.

sigheyes
Member

since 2001-04-25

Posts 323
the winds of destiny

6 posted 2002-06-18 10:10 AM

All to often this is true
dreams fade off to blue
locked alone within the mind
no release can they find.

I really understood this well, know many
people who have dealt with feelings as these.
True are your words. Thank you.

Goodknight
Member Elite

since 2002-06-15

Posts 2386
Ohio, USA

7 posted 2002-06-18 10:22 AM

Drowning
in their own darkness
gradually
losing their own   visions
locking themselves,
hidden   away
within
the walls
of self  made  prisons.
these words are the most condemning of humankind - a tough poem but so well written - Thanks - Paul

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

8 posted 2002-06-18 10:34 AM

Thanks to all.  Have a vacation day or two to play with and really want to spend it reading others so am making the replys short, but know you are all appreciated and give the smiles.
Mr. Bohanon, good to see you!  Hey ya know what I like the best about your replies,
not only do you tell me what you like, but you give me your real thoughts and insight to my words, and that sir cowboy is truly appreciated.  Yep, some prisons are self made, but skip the white walls and rubber rooms.  As Reg said it best.....Depression came to visit, then misery tried to move in so I kicked them both out.  Gotta love her for that message.  Rambling again.......oops.....
Hey YA"LL THANKS

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~~(Garth)

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

9 posted 2002-06-18 11:29 AM

I know people like this...
I know them very well...

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

10 posted 2002-06-18 12:08 PM

Beautiful. I understand drownig in the darkness.
Hugs
Sandra

Daylily
Junior Member

since 2002-06-10

Posts 22
USA

11 posted 2002-06-18 12:15 PM

Anyone who says they haven't felt this darkness at some point probably isn't being honest. Well said for all of us!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

12 posted 2002-06-18 12:32 PM

I see something in your poem for everyone. Well said, well written.

Nan

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