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Open Poetry #21
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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2002-06-15 06:41 AM



I Believe

I am my own worst enemy.
At a time when need and desire
are there, inside a mind wanting
to feel arms embracing what is on my outside,
I am alone, taking a backseat to all.

It is I, who have control of me, they say.
It is I that have to find the way,
without help, find the trigger to remove
what pains me so.
I am allergic to this world, the one
I am forced to live in, trapped inside a body,
doubly confined, once by society and
the other by my mind,
paying for my sins,
those I am not aware of included.

Why me? I often ask...haven't I had enough?
Isn't there a light somewhere out there
that I can reach for, turn on
and see a whole new world before me?
It could be worse, I am always told.
Look on the bright side, tomorrows another day,
your turn will come, when one door closes another one opens.
But I can't even find my keys half the time to open my own doors.
And now I wonder sometimes why I even want to.

Am I down, she asks herself? And she answers...which way is up?
By now I have seemed to have forgotten,
as I was never good with directions,
ask anyone who knows me.

I have nothing but pity for myself, because I can't grasp,
can barely hold onto what makes me happy, the darkness
always following me now, the quiet stepping into my shadows.
I hear the birds singing for someone else this morning,
the rain having ceased, at least temporarily.
Time drags on while I am awake, and slips by unnoticed
when I close my eyes and another day and another day and another....
are all that I have to look forward to and still no change.

I am tired, I am lonely,  words no longer can raise me.
Soon, I will be another year older, having lost three in feel
but I am still here, still trying to believe,
still wanting what I can't have, still believing
my life is unfinished, but wondering how I can go on...
as I sit here alone in the tranquility of my tears.

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

© Copyright 2002 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2002-06-15 07:23 AM


Whoa! What a sad but oh so powerful write!
I hate to see you so down my poet friend. The writing in this is really a cascade of feelings from the heart. An outpouring!  
Keep believing because I believe in you!!  It will happen when you least expect it!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-06-15 08:05 AM


Maureen,
You are an Island to yourself, but if you weren't there how could a swimmer save himself. Thank God for Islands.
PS powerful write.

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
3 posted 2002-06-15 08:48 AM


Maureen darling girl this is exquisite writing, your pen is perfectly poetical and I really do love it. The line and flow of this is excellent. A powerful piece of writing from you darling girl

There is always hope darling girl truly. In this write you’ve revealed much of your soul’s pain and expressed yourself beautifully

I love this utterly utterly

This really is excellent writing darling boy I love it utterly


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2002-06-15 09:05 AM


A powerful piece of writing here Maureen!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2002-06-15 10:51 AM


Maureen,
Loved the last line about the tranquility of tears, but don't be giving up or giving in. I make no platitudes but say only if you can get beyond the weariness it's worth it.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
6 posted 2002-06-16 11:46 AM


enjoy
SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
7 posted 2002-06-16 12:08 PM


This is so sad. I often feel this way myself. Thank you for sharing it.
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
8 posted 2002-06-16 12:23 PM


Goodness M...

This is both an awesome and extremely sad
poem of many emotions...

Been there...maybe on a slightly different
path,  but...been there...  Only you can
make your path wide and well lighted or dark
and winding...  

I assure you of this...  you have the right
tools to make that road lighted and wide..

Hugs..

Barry

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