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Open Poetry #21
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ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA

0 posted 2002-06-13 08:30 PM






Clockwork

I felt the ticking before I heard it
a giant pendulum swaying with a boom
as it touched the sides
If time ebbed slowly like a sleepy stream before
it flowed now with intensity of an eager tributary
anxious to be part of a great body of water

with fevered entropy of purpose
the arms held together shredded hours
with an array of craftsmanship and masterly precision,
the cams and gears, oiled and moving in faultless syncopation

On those occasions that a perfect day was captured
like a brilliant luna moth in a jar for perusal
I could taste each second
breathe each minute with grand relish
and listen
lovingly and in awe
at the Clockwork of our hearts

(Inspired by Michael Chabon)

[This message has been edited by ShadowRider (06-13-2002 10:59 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Picasso Lyrics - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2002-06-13 08:45 PM


On those occasions that a perfect day was captured
like a brilliant luna moth in a jar for perusal
I could taste each second
breath each minute with grand relish
and listen
lovingly and in awe
at the Clockwork of our hearts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love the write Jeff....especially this ending.
May I ask where this clocktower is located?
This one looks very special.
Great write my friend.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
2 posted 2002-06-13 08:54 PM


Thank You Nance!  ~hug back~ http://romegeorgia.com/clockhis.html
What a fascinating history this place has:  a converted water tower
in Rome, Georgia.   Please take a second and look at the singlepage
writeup on this famous American clocktower site.

Sometimes the heart moves in perfect matching motion
like the power of the pendulum
that swings into motion
the exquisite meshing of two heart's gears
~waving goodnight~
Jeff

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
3 posted 2002-06-13 08:55 PM


I feel the love.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
4 posted 2002-06-13 10:41 PM


Jeff darling heart I’m almost speechless with utter awe you have no idea how this spoke to my soul. THIS is exceptional, your writing is always superb but this is something truly awesome.

While I’m waiting to get my breath back I’ll send you a dazzling smile and just so you know I utterly utterly love this

The whole poem is incredible in it’s perfect construction form and language usage, but these particular lines make my soul weep for joy, they are gorgeous.

with an array of craftsmanship and masterly precision,
the cams and gears, oiled and moving in faultless syncopation

On those occasions that a perfect day was captured
like a brilliant luna moth in a jar for perusal
I could taste each second
breath each minute with grand relish
and listen
lovingly and in awe
at the Clockwork of our hearts


IWIHWT and how much I know that I never could, you are truly the master of this style of wonder, thank you for writing this. It’s utterly utterly perfect

You do know I love this don’t you? I thought you probably did.


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy




Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

[This message has been edited by Marsha (06-15-2002 12:49 PM).]

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
5 posted 2002-06-13 10:50 PM


Perfect moment....perfect poem...perfect writing and lovely subject...
Very well done, Jeff...

It must be a night for clocks.

I wrote a clock one also...
if you are lucky and I have done this right, you might find it by clicking Time Marching Backwards

~ timely hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-06-13 10:52 PM


Just wanted to say, thanks for the link Jeff...going there now!
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
7 posted 2002-06-13 10:57 PM


Hello.
One of the most vivid treasures of your work is the rich texture of the art form. I always enjoy the richness of the topics you choose and the melody in which they are sung.
ThisDiamond

Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
8 posted 2002-06-14 07:03 PM


Incredible depth and perception...just blows me away! ~~heartsigh~~ Beautiful darlin! A++
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2002-06-14 07:49 PM


ShadowRider
Well done, enjoyed the read.

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
10 posted 2002-06-14 10:31 PM



to Mars-shaw and the Loner:
Waiting on a late late phonecall hanging out, just being cool, I wanted to let you
both know how much I appreciated your review.  There IS love in these words,
Loner, feelings that inspire.  smiles

Marcia,
~while I am blushing from toes to head and back again~
I only WISH it was perfect!  Tonight's poem I posted I must have edited 5 times before
I got the wording even half close to the way it should look….and even then, its not exactly the way I thought it should be. . . .sorry. . .didn't mean to go 'Anal Retentive' on ya!  haha
But thank you, kind dear lady, and here's hoping that your basket of life
is filled with alive colors of fruit
and bread of the spirit

jeff

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
11 posted 2002-06-14 10:35 PM


DiamondStyle:
   Very very nice of you to say that, TD!   Banality was never my strong suit,
but have had more then a few poems trumped by my own incompetence,
if you get my drift.  smile   Mucho Gracias, Amiga!

Dulcy-Lamb:
There will only be
one you
priceless is the gift
of yourself
that you offer me


ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
12 posted 2002-06-14 10:38 PM


Hey Munkster!!!!!!!  
que pasa, amiga?  
Love how we wrote the twin 'time' pieces at the same time.
and so it goes . . . (smilin')
Thank you Lyra
for your words
and just being you

Sey:  hope you will have a super weekend
and much obliged for your ongoing reading
of my work.  It is both flattering, and satisfying
to me. . .Thankx Dude!

Jeff

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