navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #21 » Just some thoughts.........
Open Poetry #21
Post A Reply Post New Topic Just some thoughts......... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
ambermize
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 157
California

0 posted 2002-06-12 01:27 AM


If I could count the tears I've cried,
I'd hand them to you now,
Lost inside an empty soul,
That you have ruined somehow.

You break me down just enough,
That I hate you inside,
A love that bends and borrows so,
You don't even have to try.

If I could give you the cold I felt,
The first time I slept alone,
I'd force it deep inside of you,
Like a pain you've never known.

If I could kill the trust you have,
In everything I've built,
I'd crush it just to hurt you so,
I wouldn't feel this guilt.

If I could look into your eyes,
And stand my ground this time,
I would walk away agian,
And make myself alright.

But if I felt the warmth you bring,
Deep inside your lies,
I might be tempted once agian,
To stay with you tonight.

And if I saw my little boy,
In his daddy's arms agian,
I might fall apart just enough,
To have to let you in.

So now it is just safe for me,
To take this heart and leave,
Regardless of how much I gave,
Just to make you love me.

A distorted image that I've built,
Of what you've given me,
A longing to be wanted now,
Honestly and deeply.

© Copyright 2002 amber mize - All Rights Reserved
MidnightSon
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars
1 posted 2002-06-12 03:05 AM


the two sides presented here...
i like this write a lot.
genuine feelings that are strong and real... and seem to conflict each other.

good luck.

"Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters.
Sons of Bankers, Sons of Lawyers,
turn around and say good morning to the night."

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2002-06-12 03:11 AM


amber
This is an intense poem of emotional upheaval!

               "If I could give you the cold I felt,
                The first time I slept alone,
                I'd force it deep inside of you,
                Like a pain you've never known."
That penetrates like a knife!

But this ending sums it up so clearly...

           "So now it is just safe for me,
            To take this heart and leave,
            Regardless of how much I gave,
            Just to make you love me.

            A distorted image that I've built,
            Of what you've given me,
            A longing to be wanted now,
            Honestly and deeply."

Nice writing!

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
3 posted 2002-06-12 10:58 AM


This is right from your heart Ambs...I can tell...

*big sister tears*

You know you have to be strong and make decisions on your own, but give it some time and see how you feel.  I know you're confused and it always seems to happen like this...but you and Austin WILL make it without him if you try...Be smart lil sis...you know I'm here for you WHENEVER...

I love you!!!
Tanya

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2002-06-12 11:46 AM


A heartfelt write.
Well done.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

ambermize
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 157
California
5 posted 2002-06-13 02:33 AM


thanks eveybody for reading....I am trying to get through all the different stages of this I guess... And poor you.......having ot listen to me thanks agian
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #21 » Just some thoughts.........

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary