Statesboro, GA, USA
Hey, this reminded me of a poem I wrote for a friend at work named Von, who was a physical Therapist. It started with a twist on the "Roses are Red" thing ... Just a couple of notes: "TEDS" are anti-embolic stockings used to prevent unwanted clots, and Physical Therapists use long canvas belts to help lift patients.
Von's Introduction to his Patients
Roses are red and Violets are blue
Hoses are TEDs and knees violently blue.
Iíll pump that sore leg and Iíll strain your back too.
Iíll add to your grief when your pains arenít few.
Nice to meet you. Iím Von and I work with PT.
If you see me approaching, itís better to flee.
But if pain is your favorite sensation, call me.
I specialize greatly in making things smart.
Iíve refined and perfected this cruelty to art.
Youíll wonder of me, ďDoes this beast have a heartĒ?
I will cause you to hobble and wobble and reel,
inflicting my hurts from your head to your heel.
No, Iíll never let up, though you groan shriek and squeel.
And when I enter your room 8 A.M. to awake,
Donít whine that youíre ďninetyĒ expecting a break.
Though the chart says youíre ancient, itís probably a fake.
And so what, if you clutch me and strain as you trip,
telling me how they have carved your poor hip.
Watch me. Iím cracking my long canvas whip.
Please donít wonder ďOh what have I done to deserve...Ē
Iíll treat you like any ďMark SpitzĒ I might serve.
To think I would let up for you, youíve got nerve!
Never think I dislike you. All patients of mine
from the vigorous down to the dead walk this line.
Just remember these things and weíll get along fine!