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Passions in Poetry

Grim Challenge

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Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 12-18-2005
Posts 1112
Greenville, South Carolina


0 posted 04-27-2007 08:07 PM       View Profile for Edward Grim   Email Edward Grim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Edward Grim's Home Page   View IP for Edward Grim

How goes it everybody...


Ok, this is my first challenge, mostly because I'm bored to death and I've never done it before.

I used to get a lot of replies to my poems from people saying that they didn't understand all of my meaning or was confused with the piece as a whole. Looking back at some of my old posts, I agree that the poems are pretty obscure and cryptic but alas, they do have meaning, just not obvious meanings. I've been called more of a wordsmith than a poet because of the strange wording I use. And I tend to write to purposely make people feel uncomfortable.

So there's the challenge. Write outside of your comfort zone. Write something uncomfortable for the reader and "cryptic" (but make sure it means something). Use word blends that you normally wouldn't.

I don't know, I just think it'll be fun. Just put it in the open forum and leave a link. I'll post one too.

It'll be interesting to see who takes the challenge. I can't wait.

Head Cheese & Chicken Feet

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 12-18-2005
Posts 1112
Greenville, South Carolina


1 posted 04-27-2007 08:53 PM       View Profile for Edward Grim   Email Edward Grim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Edward Grim's Home Page   View IP for Edward Grim

http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum103/HTML/002421.html
Aurelian
Member
since 03-20-2007
Posts 109
TX, USA


2 posted 05-02-2007 12:52 AM       View Profile for Aurelian   Email Aurelian   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aurelian

This one might pass the ed-ometer. lol. Be it wayyerd nuff?

Mustard Seeds


A man I saw, plowed field striding
Sowing for a crop and singing-
ďSome must die so more may liveĒ
Bending bow-legged down the field
With jerk of elbow splaying wide
Mustard seeds - the yellow fragments
Spilling out from his iron-scarred hide

The sower with the spiky hat
Is followed by the iron teeth
Chewing clay to a silky mat
And hiding mustard underneath
But when his sowing finished he
The teeth they caught and ground him fine
Dung dear bought indeed but yet-
The field grows mustard tall as pine
aziza
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!


3 posted 05-03-2007 01:40 AM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 12-18-2005
Posts 1112
Greenville, South Carolina


4 posted 05-03-2007 12:55 PM       View Profile for Edward Grim   Email Edward Grim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Edward Grim's Home Page   View IP for Edward Grim

Aurelian,

I like your poem. It has a sinister voice to it. I really like that.


Allison,

Your poem was great. Superb job!


Thanks everybody.
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 03-16-2007
Posts 2907
Los Angeles California


5 posted 05-05-2007 01:23 AM       View Profile for Drauntz   Email Drauntz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Drauntz


Grim Challenge
When shinning teethed circular saw
Slowly moved on to your head
The sparkles of rainbows
Dimmed the stars in the evening sky
Invisible hands dragged away
The gray giant who tried peeking
And all the mess was washed off
By morningís misty eyes.

**************

When the rising moon quietly climbed onto your bed
The stars shunned the moonís luring light
And breeze shielded the eyes of aging cloud
When morning came the moon ran to hide.

[This message has been edited by Drauntz (05-06-2007 10:32 PM).]

oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 02-24-2007
Posts 1007
Santa Monica, California, USA


6 posted 05-07-2007 12:29 AM       View Profile for oceanvu2   Email oceanvu2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for oceanvu2

Hi Edster!  This is about as cryptic as I ever get.  A poem with a hidden meaning. My God, I feel corrupted.


Iím bored to death and I havenít done it before.
It might be something to look forward to, but Iím not sure.
Itís a forty acre carnival, and youíre the side show.
Everybody has a first time, unless they have no times at all.

Jimbeaux
nevermore93
Member
since 10-24-2007
Posts 73


7 posted 10-26-2007 11:45 PM       View Profile for nevermore93   Email nevermore93   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nevermore93

Souless sleeping, while laying above the sky
your thoughts turn to turmoil in front of your eyes
The words you speak transcend time, yet are lies
From the heavens you shall crash down on earth
Your eternAl slumber has faded away seemlessly
But you own desinty is a reccuring reprocussion
of your own suffering and inhibition to be alive.
Hope taht made sense to you grim. I kinda freestyled that one.
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 06-11-2007
Posts 1062
In Love <3


8 posted 10-27-2007 03:02 PM       View Profile for RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed

http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum84/HTML/003532.html

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

 
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