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Passions in Poetry

a challenge phrase, plus...

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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 11-16-2000
Posts 7440
Oregon


0 posted 06-05-2001 02:25 PM       View Profile for VAS   Email VAS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for VAS

in responding to a poem of another, I found myself using the phrase:  with tandem hearts


I think I thought it up myself, but it's possible I read the line in someone's poem.  That's the one concern I have about following the advice to read the poetry/prose of others in order to find my voice.  My concerns...that 'the voice of others' will be what transpires in my poetry and I'll be sued for plaegerism.  Ye gads!!!

Anyway, I plan to try to write a poem to that phrase.

Also, in reading something speaking of the exterior, that which shows being much different, often, from the interior of a person, it caused be to think about using the Earth's mantle, core and atmosphere in an analogous way to a person's physical appearance, inner beauty, outward persona, i.e. aura if you will.  Anyone game for that idea, too?
Romy
Senior Member
since 05-28-2000
Posts 1226
Plantation, Florida


1 posted 06-06-2001 10:55 AM       View Profile for Romy   Email Romy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Romy

VAS,
It sounds interesting, not sure if I have the right idea, but I might like to give that a try!
Debbie
Angel
Senior Member
since 07-02-99
Posts 597
Pennsylvania


2 posted 07-11-2001 12:17 AM       View Profile for Angel   Email Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel

Her appearance is sweet
She looks more than naive
With a single glance
Soft ringlets fall gently
Framing an angelic face
Cobalt eyes, scarlet lips
This angel changes but
No one dares look beyond.
For this is a mock mask
The crust of reality
Beyond the surface lies
Truth.
Her heart is a bitter arctic
Never embraced by love
The only truth known is
Hate.
Afraid of her own evil
She hides her core sin
And her life goes on.
Still, the air that surrounds
Is foul, somehow tainted
The taste fills a room
Some way it is impossible
For anyone to ignore
She is stained.
Nonetheless she tries to
Camoflauge transgression
Still, she does not succeed
Her core is present
Always.

~Susie

~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~

Angel
Senior Member
since 07-02-99
Posts 597
Pennsylvania


3 posted 07-11-2001 12:18 AM       View Profile for Angel   Email Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel

Her appearance is sweet
OOPS
~Susie


~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~

[This message has been edited by Angel (edited 07-11-2001).]

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 11-16-2000
Posts 7440
Oregon


4 posted 07-11-2001 01:41 AM       View Profile for VAS   Email VAS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for VAS

Angel, very well done!!  I've not gotten around to trying this one, though I had planned to.  I have the word mantle on a page in June's poetry and that's it.

You really should post this in Open#15 so others will be more likely to see it.

I don't really understand your oops, I couldn't find a mistake related to that line.  Am I just too sleepy?
Angel
Senior Member
since 07-02-99
Posts 597
Pennsylvania


5 posted 07-11-2001 09:31 PM       View Profile for Angel   Email Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel

VAS,
Glad you enjoyed. The oops was a double post. I didn't erase the first line by mistake. I think it was me who was too sleepy.

~Susie

~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~

brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


6 posted 07-12-2001 03:18 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Susie, post this in open.

V, my muse and I are not talking. Major writer's block. I have two poems begging to be finished but I am at a loss for words.
Though I look forward to the results from this challenge. Oh just finished reading Corinne's poem
When the river flows upsteam she had a line "they stalk in tandem" could that be where you line sprung from?

[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-12-2001).]

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