How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 Poetry Challenge!
 The Worst Poem You Ever wrote
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Ron   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

The Worst Poem You Ever wrote

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 10-08-2000 12:34 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

I've written A LOT of really bad poetry, which of course, never got posted. Since Mark made the remark that everything I write is exquisite, I decided to post some of my worst. Pizza man is pretty bad, but I've got some much worse that I'm searching for on my hard drive and discs, and I will post them also. Don't feel bad if you can't make it through this poem. Just politely say, "Liz, I see what you mean" And what about YOU worst? Care to share? When I post mine, you will get some laughs.
Liz


Pizza Man

Itís Friday at the Breagyís, that means itís pizza night!
Weíre having Irish Pizza, to everyoneís delight!
The pizza manís preparing to wave his magic wand
And make an Irish Pizza of which weíre all so fond

You say you never heard of an Irish Pizza man?
Heís got an automatic chopper and an Irish pizza pan!
The panís shaped like a shamrock, all the vegetables are green
Itís the most peculiar pizza that I have ever seen!

Itís got artichokes and lima beans, peas and green string beans
Spinach leaves and little green onions into the machine
Collard greens,asparagus, green pepper and zucchini
The chefís got more tricks up his sleeve than did the great Houdini

There are avocados, brussel sprouts and little bits of okra
I bet he got the recipe one day while watching Oprah
Iíve never in my life seen so many pizza toppings
But look, heís still going to town, he simply isnít stopping!

Heís grabbing more vegetables and just continues chopping
Pausing only now and then to do a little mopping!
When itís finally done he brings the Shamrock pizza to the table
The pizza was so great we ate as much as we were able

If you want Irish pizza but have never been invited
Iíve got clout, Iíll make sure your invitationís expedited!

UGH!

Elizabeth Santos




Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 10-08-2000 12:50 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

LOLOLOL...you may feel it's your worse, and I will concur it is not the most beautiful you've ever done, but it has certainly provided me with my Sunday Morning Giggle...

so thanks!

the worse one I've ever done...will never be posted!!!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ


Romy
Senior Member
since 05-28-2000
Posts 1226
Plantation, Florida


2 posted 10-08-2000 12:55 PM       View Profile for Romy   Email Romy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Romy

Hi Elizabeth, I bet I have you beat on this challenge! Here are a couple of mine, ugh!


His smile was a bright, white light, and it hurt my eyes to look into his shining face,
His goodness and honesty bubbled out on to my lips,
leaving steams rising in spots on my skin.
He is too good for me
He is too god for me
He is to for me
He is to me
He is me.
He is.
He.


In the kettle of reckoning the people slink ,
from the lies, corruption and universal stink,
as they scrabble to stand up , climb out of the waste
and free themselves from the problems they face.

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


3 posted 10-08-2000 11:27 PM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Liz,

You are just way to cute, the pizza on the other hand is way to green for me hehe, I'll start looking but it will not take long.

See ya soon, Cerenity

Deebie,
I don't know why but I like the Kettle one.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


4 posted 10-08-2000 11:35 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Elizabeth~ How old were you when you wrote this?   I'll post my worst one for you in open. ( worst in my opinion ok? )   -SEA
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


5 posted 10-09-2000 07:05 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Sunshine, I would love to see your worst, just to know that you are human. Glad you got a laugh

Debbie, I'm sorry, but I had to laugh, but I grant you, I have a few that are worse. Thanks for the post

Cerenity, I'll be looking for it, hehe

Sea, I just write Pizza man about 6 months ago! Isn't it awful?

Liz
Romy
Senior Member
since 05-28-2000
Posts 1226
Plantation, Florida


6 posted 10-09-2000 09:40 AM       View Profile for Romy   Email Romy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Romy

Cerenity, I wrote the second poem using a first-line poetry generator on the computer.  If you liked that one, I have about a hundred other rotten poems you'll love! (ha-ha!)

Elizabeth, I wrote the first one with my eyes almost closed and sent it to that scam poetry site, poetry.com. Guess what? I am a finalist in their poetry contest! They think my unique style of writing deserves to be put in a beautiful coffee table book for only 49.99!

I Can't wait to read some "awful poetry"
posted by others!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


7 posted 10-10-2000 06:59 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Here's one that got so tangled up, even I got confused. It is by no means my worst.
You may have to take a 10 minute break in the middle of this one!

I see my life a different realms
Transparent living planes
Some overlapping, some dissecting
None of them the same

Some parts of my existence
Are horizons well apart
Converging on a linear path
Through chambers of the heart

Like sheets of light at different angles
Slicing through each realm
Creating prism images
With character at helm

One plane above the others
The essence of the soul
Is congruent with all other planes
In making up the whole

A intricate formed pattern
The dimensions of the self
The crystal plates of living
Crossing paths within oneself

Aestheticism wants to hold
The beauty that it sees
And heritage is bound by roots
Within our families

The physical may borrow
A piece of Godís great earth
To dwell upon in safety
And place value on itís worth

The passionate may occupy
The realm we call the heart
But from all these dimensions
In the future we must part

For death destroys the crystal plates
But not the living soul
Which is the only worthy plane
Remaining from the whole

This vision may seem too confusing
But I often find
That strange ideas come pouring out
The facet called the mind

Liz
Romy
Senior Member
since 05-28-2000
Posts 1226
Plantation, Florida


8 posted 10-10-2000 07:52 AM       View Profile for Romy   Email Romy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Romy

Elizabeth, I have to admit that this one is a bit of a challenge to read! Sounds a little like a description of an autopsy...

"Some overlapping, some dissecting"

"Slicing through each realm"

Here's a real "whiner" that I wrote, I don't even know if the word "noiselessness is even a word in the dictionary!

Why does the world expect so much of me?
Or is it me that expects so much of the world?
Falling
Falling
Falling
I canít,
its more than I can take
This endless trying, trying, trying,
I want the soft, soothing noiselessness of nothingness,
The nothingness that I wake with in the morning
When everything still seems possible.


Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


9 posted 10-10-2000 01:53 PM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

Most of the time especially after reading other people's poetry I think MOST of my poetry is my worst....and it is MOSTLY posted here at Passions!!!  So you all already know!!! Oh well!!!!      

Bridgette  


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


10 posted 10-10-2000 01:55 PM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

And Liz, I happen to like the "Pizza Man" it's humorous and comical....may not be pretty, lovely, or nice but I like it just the same!!!!

Bridgette


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


11 posted 10-10-2000 02:26 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

AAAGGGHHHH, OK, Elizabeth:  I posted this quite early on [I actually POSTED it...] and there were zip replies which I would take connotes therein to "worse poetry ever" apparently...

Rhetoric

So, here you go...Keep it in, keep it in,
do not let him see you cry.
No matter what spews from his mouth,
look him eye to eye.

He doesnít like the way you lived life
so many moons ago,
but for some reason he made you his wife
Ďtho sometimes you wished Ďtwasnít so.

Oh you love him, you know it
and youíve got reason to show it;
heís just got a mouth and a stoic mind
Nevertheless you think him blind.

Outspoken and outstanding,
so he shall always be;
Donít you let him see you crying
for the you youíve come to be.

[ok, still gagging, right?]



Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


12 posted 10-10-2000 03:27 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

I'm sorry to have to laugh a little, but these poems are priceless. Debbie, the noiselessness of the endlessness seems pretty empty. But Sunshine , I am so glad you are the "you that you've come to be"
Bridgette, we all think less of our poetry than others, at least I do.
I still haven't found my worst. I think they went into the garbage.
Thanks for the enlightenment. Great fun!
Liz
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


13 posted 10-15-2000 01:19 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

As most of my poems are written on computer that is what the recyle bin is for... to destroy the evidence LOL. but I have a few still on computer that I have no idea what to do with. they are just grim rants.... oh hanging my head in shame.  

==========

Progress in the wetlands

Conserve in the wetlands the fields of sickly green
chemical grass and tumour trees.
From brittle dying foliage the sky
became choked with mist.
In the swamped fields stands impending
the eyesore; the monument to manís stupidity,
towering high an ugly metal wire platform,
ďAny method to rape natureĒ:  
manís first instinct.

Hiding in woodlands the beautiful mother,
naked, too obese to wear her fine garments,
she sat conversing with the wolves;
lazy little canines, cleaning their teeth
with her rib cage, bloated having
devoured her just born infants.
She held the flesh cord,  
  its odour attracting more wolves,
The smell of raw half dead meet
makes for tempting and tasty meals.  
She panics as she bleeds,
Realising that she should
never have removed it.  
Vomiting blood as she tries to reattach it.  
ďMother,Ē the wolves venomously chant,
ď Mother of abortions.Ē
The name shall be branded.
As she rots in carrion beauty,
putrid stains of vomit drooling ,
bloated bleached skin with ruby blood
streams, withering in coarse
with the wetlands. It is all so romantic,
as the final stages of faith have been decided.      

Sterile \ Not So Sterile.

Only the thinning princess can pull this off
with her fragility, Why are all the kiddies toys
white laced virgins?
Her petite frame may not seem
like much but she is going to hold this
world in the palm of her hands. On her window
cell all the toys debate her destiny controlled by
various star agencies. Tearful Tiny Tim answers her
cherub beauty with the urge to masturbate - the childhood crutch.

With dead tree lined doll houses they sell her for more
than she ever could be. Televised into the dragon den
She walked on blindly for the extra work practises
escorting the depraved. Smiling - training to be nothing but a
Shirley Temple clone. Winning everyoneís hearts
but dying inside. They will forget when
her star burns out. Looking towards her window
cell she knows that he is just a plastic doll.
He comforts her from afar knowing their faith
as dooming marketing schemes.




"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree
the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women".
Patti Smith


[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 10-15-2000).]
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 07-29-2000
Posts 9235
Victoria Australia


14 posted 10-17-2000 05:09 PM       View Profile for Kethry   Email Kethry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kethry

Am I too late. I just found a poem for this challenge. This is my worst, the subject matter is offensive, it's also pretty gross and if you can't get through it I'll understand. I wrote it at a dark time in my life.

A Different Desire

Feed me pain, feed me bile
Mock me, hate me, me revile
Don't endear me with your smile
No whispered words that drip of guile.

Tie me up and torture me
Keep me bound don't set me free
Sear my mind, scar my body
Give me welts in which I glory

Take my life to throw away
Do what you will I'll have no say
Whip me chain me, as I bleed today
Don't make things easier for me I pray.

I deserve the crushing hand
A life in abeyance at your command
This is what I understand
This treatment only will move my hand

As tears fall don't let me cry
Let me scream, don't make me try
I'm in your hand to live or die
And at the end I'll, gravely sigh.



Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> Poetry Challenge! >> The Worst Poem You Ever wrote Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors