How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 Poetry Challenge!
 Raven. begging for ideas
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Ron   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Raven. begging for ideas

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


0 posted 08-25-2000 05:51 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Yes my muse or the forces that motivate me to write poetry are not talking to me and my inspiration is dry so I am begging, requesting for spare words, phrases, ideas anything that I can use to turn into a poem. I will attempt to do every sugegstion. Credit will be given to the individual donors. So here is your chance to put words in my mouth.


"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy

[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 08-26-2000).]
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-11-99
Posts 2250
Skelmersdale, UK


1 posted 08-27-2000 06:58 AM       View Profile for Moon Dust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moon Dust

How about a line or two??

When the moon,
Meets the stars,

"Those who will not learn to use this instrument well cannot be saved by an expanded alphabet; they will only afflict us with expanded gibberish"
~
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


2 posted 08-27-2000 07:14 AM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Thanks for the challenge Maria, it was great fun doing the challenge.

here is a poem that sort of flowed out, light and cheerful. This is the first draft.

=========================================
When the moon,
Meets the stars,
In the winter noon
From travelling from a far
They play their games of light
as white bright
children of the night.

When the moon
Dances at the edge of dawn
Where all hope and dreams
are first born, softly sailing
in celestial seas of splendour,
Our dreams are ships of their
surface,  the glitter on the waves
are the stars upon the calmest ocean.

"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy

[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 08-27-2000).]
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-11-99
Posts 2250
Skelmersdale, UK


3 posted 08-27-2000 07:37 AM       View Profile for Moon Dust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moon Dust

Glad I could help, great poem btw, like what you've done

"Those who will not learn to use this instrument well cannot be saved by an expanded alphabet; they will only afflict us with expanded gibberish"
~
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 07-29-2000
Posts 9235
Victoria Australia


4 posted 08-27-2000 07:44 PM       View Profile for Kethry   Email Kethry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kethry

Brian,
how about  "Darkness surrounds me, all is lost
up to this fragile sky I'm tossed."
I haven't been able to do anything with these words so you're welcome to try and If my muse flows I'll also try.

Be well
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 07-29-2000
Posts 9235
Victoria Australia


5 posted 08-29-2000 08:38 AM       View Profile for Kethry   Email Kethry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kethry

Brian I gave you the scraps, where's my winged poem.
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


6 posted 08-29-2000 06:54 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Kethry, sorry I have not had time nor inspiration to tackle the challenge but rest assured I will as soon as I can. Sorry this is mainly due to my long work hours, but as of friday I am on hoildays.   Thanks for the line, loved the image. I will use it
==========================================
back again ok this poem sort of came together in 2 mins. I don't know what you will think, I was just in the mood for experimenting.

------

insert title here: __________________


Darkness surrounds me, all is lost
up to this fragile sky I'm tossed,
to and fro and over in violence current,
emotions challenge high in winter torrent.
My arms are stretched towards the skies
Does the God not hear my cries?
"Peace at least," I scream I plead
I have been the victim, oh how I bleed
beneath the waters of my bathtub,
phantom infant kicks inside,
little unplanted baby sharpens his knife
wars are waged upon me, by the men
always with authority again and again
soldiers march on me,
I am the rape victim
of the rubble,
the nun chained
to the missile,
the mother who birthed a thousand killers,
and fertilised the flowers bound
as the wreaths of Hiroshima.
First world power supremacy,
I am democracy
the beggar with child
dead eyed heroin junkie.
This is a confession
of nothing of importance.
I am million loose ends on
the hanging noose,
the kick that throws
the chair
and forces life to black.
In this dead time I am that single
glimmer of hope…that tiny voice
that says no.
    

"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy

[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 08-29-2000).]
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 07-29-2000
Posts 9235
Victoria Australia


7 posted 08-30-2000 06:45 AM       View Profile for Kethry   Email Kethry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kethry

OK if your muse has left I'm a dead eyed heroin junkie.     Well worth the wait. Now post it somewhere else Dopey.  
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-06-2000
Posts 5323
singapore


8 posted 08-31-2000 12:17 PM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

challenge from kaile:to write about the thing you wish for the most in life in a short poem of about 6-10 sentences

never read a short poem from you before...looking forward to your attempt
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


9 posted 08-31-2000 04:46 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

The thing I wish for most in life
is love, to hold some one close
And to know that I am lost in
Their embrace, they hold me fragile
and light, caress and kiss me
throughout the night, to look into
my eyes and truly share my world.


"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-06-2000
Posts 5323
singapore


10 posted 09-05-2000 06:39 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

...i realise I shouldnt have offered you this challenge cos i now see that this didnt present much difficulty to you at all

seriously though,I loved this one,Brian...short,sweet and succinct....i will try to attempt my challenge in the next few days to offer you another perspective

another challenge from me:
write your first haiku and post it in Open#9...come on Brian..i know you can do it
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 06-17-2000
Posts 5525
missouri


11 posted 09-05-2000 02:31 PM       View Profile for Paula Finn   Email Paula Finn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paula Finn

Here you go Brian

If I had to say goodbye today
  
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


12 posted 09-05-2000 07:56 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

kaile, I have a shameful secret, I can't hakiu, I now it is 5-7-5 (or something like that but I just can't break the words up right) oh the shame but if I do have time I will try.

Paula, ok making holiday plans at the moment, maybe a while before I can post the results, a week maybe.

Sit down and bargain
"Until your tongues are dry If the havoc and the shame continue We'll drown you in our putrefaction" Primo Levi

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-06-2000
Posts 5323
singapore


13 posted 09-07-2000 12:29 PM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

Brian,i absolutely forbid you to say such things....you are a tremendous gifted poet(and at such a tender age too)....in fact,i hope someday to be as proficient as you in this form of art though i guess thats deemed mission impossible...LOL

no shame, Brian, just remember that heres a friend who will spur you on when you feel ready to write your haiku on your own terms

and also, i have found time to attempt my on challenge...i posted it as "My Fervent Desire" in the corner pub...you may like to read when you are not too deeply engrossed in your holidays
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> Poetry Challenge! >> Raven. begging for ideas Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors