navwin » Discussion » Poetry Challenge! » Need inspiration, phases, themes anything.
Poetry Challenge!
Post A Reply Post New Topic Need inspiration, phases, themes anything. Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2000-07-06 02:38 PM


Hi guys, yes it seems that my river of inspiration is yet again in drought season so I would really appreciate any spare phrases, themes, metaphors, thoughts or anything I could twist into a poem.
THanks and promise to respond to them ASAP.





A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Wren
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312

1 posted 2000-07-06 04:59 PM


Spare phrases:
"tie a rainbow in your hair"
"blood as sweet as orange juice"
"The rain girl smiles with mossy teeth
and keeps her eyes hidden"
I know they arn't very good, but thats why they're "spare parts", right?

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
2 posted 2000-07-06 05:15 PM


Wren, some very unusual images. I will see what I can do.
====
I'm back poem finished. Wren I took some liberty with the images, mainly to make most of them plural
but I had to change the "mossy smiles" image to fit the context of the poem

---
Virgin Suicides

Young girls in floral sheen
spring down to the beach.
They laugh softly in the shine
with large blue eyes and chocolate smiles.
They dance and spin shouting merriment
and laughter tying rainbows in their hair,
and daisy chains upon their necks.

They called them angles, the old ones
did but what do they know of
the secret torments of youth.
The menstrual mutilation is the devil's curse
for their bad thoughts. They reeled in
lakes of blood as acrid and sweet as orange juice.
Once they awoke to scarlet soaked sheets
and trails of brutal passion, there had been an intruder
a midnight thief of innocence.

Now they are walking dead, no glimmer
in their vacant eyes. The joyless grey face pains
the elders to see them in a constant sulk.
They bear the anguish of violation secretly.
Girls with ill thoughts will have ill deeds visited upon them;
the twisted spirits breathed vile seeds,
They can not wash the sickness from their flesh.

The rain girls with grim ivy lips
keep their eyes hidden. The four stand against
howling overcast, even the wind is unrepentant
and the filth remains. "We walk with our eyes
fully opened. We are aware of your desires
your longing to penetrate our sweetness.
We know that any of you could have laid devil hands on us,
There no rest for us angels where all are guilty.
We died the night you stole our love.
We are no more, the virgin suicides,
Let us lie in the stillness of the sea."
With the final epitaph written their bodies descend
into the depths. One wonders what drove such
spirited girls into the frozen undercurrents.



A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry




[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-07-2000).]

Wren
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312

3 posted 2000-07-06 07:08 PM


Wow. I coulden't have said it better myself!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-07-07 03:20 AM


HOLY MOLY...
JEEEEEZZZZEEEE...
we need to talk...LOL
you get the award for most imagery in a poem
damn Bri-guy
this is awesome
but where you get the ideas for these poems
and images...
well????...nevermind...I'll just need tylenol
later-imagery king-gator
eve


What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly
~LaoTzeTao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
5 posted 2000-07-07 03:31 PM


Wren, I will take that as a compliment then?
lol thanks for kind words.

Jan, an award for me? Hang on I will do my Tom Hanks weeping Oscar's speech.
"you love me you really love me" who was it who said that at the Oscar's once. anyway,

"but where you get the ideas for these poems
and images..." Trade secret, Ok I have Cryogenically frozen some of the great poets of the 20th cnetury in my fridge. Ooops I left Dlyan Thomas out aaahhhhhhh he is melting...
anyway too much tylenol, thanks for reading and replying.


Ready for more phrases.



A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
6 posted 2000-07-09 05:31 AM


OK YOU I AM BUMPING THIS TOPIC.

I am still open to phrases and ideas here to get my raven claws on, especially shiny stuff. LOL

This is the only way to shut me up.

So again I would really appreciate any spare phrases, themes, metaphors, thoughts or anything I could twist into a poem.


Thanks in advance


"Death makes angels of us all and put wings where we once had shoulders, smooth as raven's wings. Jim Morrison

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
7 posted 2000-07-09 07:04 AM


Here's one that popped into my head:

Boundless spirling aspirations raging into turmoil.


brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
8 posted 2000-07-09 11:19 AM


Hi LD, wow what a phrase. I hope I was able to do it justice. Again more experimenting for me, I am not used to writing in this format I was trying to capture energy, have it build up then slow down then build up even more.
-----------------
kinetic craft

I am in kinetic motion,
a blur of limbs and
bounding ideas
swirling in
chaos There
is no rest
for me
weary still
I drive
on,
The fires
forever fuel
my desires.
I am without
direction
nor need
of guidance.
What I create
may burst
with brilliant
tones and
extreme shades,
bordering
on a
destructive flow,
what is my art
but a
reflection
of my self?
Boundless
spiralling
aspirations
raging
into
turmoil,
ink explodes
with
endless
ideas
I am
lost
in the
great
effort
to pen
them all.
Yet it
seem a
curse
this thirst
this madness
for me
it is
my
life,
my
blood
my
sweat
I live for
this
riding
the
uncertainties
of
the
tornado
within.


"The stars will explode in the sky O but they don't, do they? Stars have their moment and then they die" Nick Cave



[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-09-2000).]

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
9 posted 2000-07-09 01:35 PM


Brian, I had no doubts, I knew you would take the phrase and run with it. Marvelous job, is there anything you can't do?

Craig
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444

10 posted 2000-07-09 03:28 PM



Hello Brian

Your title did say anything, right!


I’ve got the start of a poem that I never got around to finishing if you fancy a try for the crack. The idea was to follow the syllabic count in all following stanzas and match the internal/external rhyme format of ‘blew’ before the caesurae in line one and ‘grew’ in line four. I was aiming for a Dylan Thomas feel (your mentioning him reminded me of this unfinished poem) though you can do whatever you want with it, even ignoring it is an option, after all that’s what I’ve been doing to it for the past few months.  
Have fun.

Craig

The crow wind blew, a cutting scythe
Rolled soil upon its bitter blade
To a thirsty sky
Where no seeds grew

(Fits the drought season theme quite well too)

Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool:
But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet.


brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2000-07-09 06:52 PM


Hi LD, anything I can't do? I am not a great cook, I can't sing or play a musical instrument. LOL thanks for the challenge and your response.

Hi Craig, I did say anything didn't I. Too late to back out. I wish Dylan thomas had not melted he could have given me hand with this. I will give it a tr. I am not big into tight structures but I am game to try anything, almost anything, once. If it does not work out I will just write free flow.
Could be a while with this, I have long work hours this week.

"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else" faster-Manic street preachers.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Discussion » Poetry Challenge! » Need inspiration, phases, themes anything.

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary