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Passions in Poetry

A challenge...

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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 05-26-2000 09:30 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Ok well...I am inspired by a list of challenges Brad posted in the Eng. forum and I have kind of modified one...lol.

My challenge is to write an autobiographical poem using the pronoun 'I' only once and you can't wrote 'my' or 'me' or anything like that...

heheeee - there are certain people who right now will be wanting to strangle me but oh well!

K
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 05-26-2000 11:33 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

I
am Sunshine

a guiding light
fully bright
to reunite
all to
right

a force within
not without sin
giving laughs and grins
here, where it all begins

a common one
and can be undone
a heart and soul to be won
underneath all, full of fun

Sunshine

have been naive
have fully grieved
have never disbelieved
In God have been relieved...

Sunshine

have faith in angels
have been through squalls
haven't seen it all
but heard Ron's call

that's moi.

[Already Laughing at your reaction...you didn't say we couldn't use "I, me or my" in languages other than English...so, I probably fudged under your guidelines, but it was fun to write, nevertheless...]


 Sunshine
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


2 posted 05-26-2000 06:58 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Grrrrrrrrr at you Sunshine!!
HAHA...it is lovely and thankyou! You encompassed a lot - wow.  

I suppose I ought to post mine too...LOL.

*******

Fortress

Curbed
these lights
against the blue-dusked sky

can it be imagined
the night of a city
dark-cozened
  
only a star
could gleam there
and that without the clouds

no foot could fall
without a breach  
of balance

whisper-heavy
curls of air
sadden unbrightened

for a city unlit is lone
and hangs a pall
of silence there around

I am your fortress
           darkened

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


3 posted 05-26-2000 09:27 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Well done both of you!!!  You are just to smart for me today... LOL

 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


4 posted 05-27-2000 05:37 AM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Well I am never one to turn down a challenge, so please do not challenge me to a duel to the death.
here is my attempt.
================================
mass of contradictions

A word spoken softly muted
to the noise of outside, the choruses of insanity,
drown out the beauty of communication
that can only breathe in whispers of poetry.

A tenderness yet to be shared,
Open arms are empty, in want of someone to reside
permanently, to fill the emptiness
of a loving heart, to climb desire's columns.

A darkness, that stares into the abyss pushing forward
the filthy secrets of the soul, the candle in the shadows
the cry venomous to hypocrisy, with vision locked
in obsessive analysis that seek the flaws of even angels.

The clown, with wide Cheshire cat grin
The fool that could not care less,      
The words withheld by others
are celebrated and broad cast from this honest mouth.

A body of subdued beauty held on the inside,
of dreams and thoughts that by countless
others will never be seen,not to be pigeonholed
a mass of contradictions……all this I am.





 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

"Here chewing your tail is joy"
  
Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto




[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 05-27-2000).]
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


5 posted 05-27-2000 06:00 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Wow you guys - sure write well. I just
play around -  and decided to use Brian's
ploy, though not as good as his, it gets
the point across  

Who is that Woman

What devilish imp is this
what trouble will she be in next
can't anyone get her to shut up

why does she cry over silly shows
and can't keep the same husband, you know
she has three wonderful sons growed

why did she have such an awful childhood
why does she talk about God as if he doesn't exist
who is this naughty girl - does she have no respect

Who is this woman who is sassy and bold
nothing daunt's her flamboyant style
Who will be her next beau for awhile

that poor fellow won't know what hit him
when she decides to become feminine
or is she tug boat annie in disguise?

Got to tell you she can be very serious
wonder how many personalities dwell inside
who is this woman who can be mysterious

Who is that woman who has grown wise
she reads, writes, dreams, works and plays
Bet you figured it out, that woman is I


~netswan
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


6 posted 05-27-2000 06:41 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

WOW You've all met your challenge well...
Excellent guys!  


 Je t'aime plus qu'hier et moins que demain."
I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow
(unkown)


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 05-27-2000 07:21 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Kamla~
Well, I've had a go at it, Chickie !
Hope you enjoy !
LOVE YOU !
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

eMoTiOnS oVerLoAd
Junior Member
since 05-28-2000
Posts 10


8 posted 05-28-2000 04:19 AM       View Profile for eMoTiOnS oVerLoAd   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for eMoTiOnS oVerLoAd

i think i'll give this one a try...here it goes~~~~>

a mere reflection in a mirror,
wondering what she has become,
wondering what she could be.

how did her life bring her to her knees,
in search of what she once was.
light hearted,
not a worry,
not a tear shed.

realizing how much time had passed,
amazed at how she looked so young,
yet felt so old,
she had not a worry.

tears fell rapidly,
blurring her vision,
cursing all the stars,
cursing what her life has become,
screaming in agony...
wishing she would be free from this torment.....

as a tear escapes...
"I" stand and watch my faith escape with it.

***tell me what you guys think...criticism is GOOD!!! HEHE

veronika
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


9 posted 05-28-2000 07:21 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Isis...hey - thankyou!  

Brian - I think your poem is just gorgeous...because I can totally relate - I often admit to myself that I am a mass of contradictions.

Netswan - I just adore your honesty here! LOL.   Cool poem...

DA - and so did you dear.

Marge(y)  

Veronika - first off I must say:
WELCOME to the family          

Glad you could join us.

I think this poem is great - it is honest, tender and has some excellent language usage.

You know - if you love criticism you will probably love the Critical Analysis forum - they are reputed to bite there (hehe) but in actual fact don't!

Thanks for your participation in this!

K

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


10 posted 05-28-2000 10:37 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Ok...here we go!


With winking eyes
The poet sees
Life
like all her
poetrys

And in the thought
'tween rhyme and reason
she feels the blade
of poetic treason

Seeking not who
but why
life’s meaning clear
before she must die

time stands still
in words of verse
life could be better
could be no worse


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


11 posted 05-28-2000 06:06 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Madam Devine...Wow...gorgeous...sigh.

and in the thought
'tween rhyme and reason
she feels the blade
of poetic treason

Wonderful lines...

I have but one question - where is your 'I'?



K
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


12 posted 05-28-2000 09:25 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

There is no 'i' in poetry!~ LOL
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 05-29-2000 01:26 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Julio Iglesias was told by all to give a song a try
The only rule thay said was he could only use one "AIIYE".
"That's silly", said the singer. "Aiiye, aiiye, aiiye is what we sing!
Who in the world would even try for such a foolish thing???"

The captain told the sailor "Swab the deck, you lazy fool!!"
The sailor snapped "Aye, aye sir!" Captain screamed, "You broke the rule!!!
That New Zealand gal who's being cute says we can only use one Aye!"
The sailor trembled as he spoke. "er, aye" was his reply.

So here I sit on mountain top...the ruler of my land.
Inhabitants all worship me for they now understand
That, thanks to the Severny one, although they don't know why,
Their cyclops is the only thing that's fit to have one eye!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


14 posted 05-29-2000 06:57 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Sharon - I may or may not let you get away with that one...heheheeeeee...grrrrrrr!

And as for you YOUNG man...


ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

~PEALS OF RAUCOUS LAUGHTER!~

You're too much 'deer...you're just too much...

Going off to laugh until I cry...

K
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


15 posted 05-30-2000 03:24 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

well, severn, you have caught me on the wrong foot... gimme a bit of time and I will post my response, is posting on #7 good or should I post it specifically here???

Well, let me start moving now, and write something....

regards, sudhir

 Hey you, out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisle,
With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me?
Hey you, don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own,
Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?
Hey you, with your ear against the wall,
Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home....

by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall
monique
Member
since 02-03-2000
Posts 377
Louisiana


16 posted 05-30-2000 04:24 AM       View Profile for monique   Email monique   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for monique

Hi!
Hi! don't think hi! could not, not say hi! in a poem more ten once
but hi! enjoy reading your poemz
hi! love hit

can hi! just be a looker a poem taster
a poem lover even though hi! cannot compose but sthill want to say someting
all hi! want is for people to be happy
and some just love to cause trouble
why does a god would create a world like that
there is no love in suffering
are we déjà in hell and hi!
i am just passing by
for eternity


monique  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


17 posted 05-30-2000 07:22 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Sudhir - hey there!

Post it wherever you choose! Can you please e-mail me the link if you post it in Open (severn6@hotmail.com) though because I may miss it.

Can't wait to see!

Monique - HAHA...how evasive of you! Hi agree and hi should say you have done miHIgty well...

K

Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


18 posted 05-30-2000 10:56 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

posted it severn, and sending you a mail too... let me know what you think about it... called "the sketch-maker" in Open #7

really vague writing, I must admit...

regards, sudhir
Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 06-03-2000
Posts 667
Tennessee


19 posted 06-03-2000 08:17 PM       View Profile for Tennessee Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tennessee Angel

A mixture of so many things.
Which of them shall here be told?
A little tentative and shy
with a strong desire to be bold.

A tender hearted woman
with a facade of being strong.
A fierce independance battling
against a secret urge to just belong.

A dreamer, sure enough,
but there is so much more.
A believer that there are still
a few things left worth dying for.

A whole host of opposites
inside this body reside.
And if you still know nothing of the poet,
You must at least admit I tried.
 
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