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Poetry Challenge!
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Dear Love:
| Poetry Challenge! |
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Dear Love: |
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Sweet T Member
since 1999-06-14
Posts 64mesa, arizona maricopa |
Dear Love, You've closed me off. The pain you have experienced in the past is keeping you from loving me. How can I show you that you could easily breathe again if you let me near thy Heart? BUT NO! You refuse. And you push me away with hurtful eyes. As if I was the one who had broke your heart in two. As if I was the one who had LIED CHEATED Tell me, if you knew you would never love me Why did you say those words? Why pretend you care? Am I to be convicted before I even recieve my trial? I am the one who would BLEED FOR YOU CRY FOR YOU I have offered you a chance at happiness Why will you not take it? All I dream about is how perfect it would be if I could easily Talk to you Laugh with you TRUST in you. But in truth, I don't even know Who You Are! I never thought that night after night I would lie next to a Stranger. Your arms will never offer me the warmth my heart looks for. Why are you so cold? Your eyes are empty, Your soul has disappeared. Could my blood turn your Devil's heart back to red? For I would gladly give up MY LIFE to save YOURS. Sincerely, Impressionable Heart. I really like some phrases in this poem. But it needs a lot of work. Any opinion is a good opinion. So please feel free. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I don't think you need the words capitalized, it's very effective! Good job! I like it! (But don't give up your life just yet! We need more poetry!) I think your original phrase makes a lot of sense in this poem.  |
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