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Passions in Poetry

Are you up for a Challenge!

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Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


0 posted 08-03-99 11:59 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I've avoided asking for challenge phrases from you all, but now I'm ready to stretch my poetic muscle (it's located at the back of the brain right next to my silly cerebrum).

Give me a phrase - at least 4 words strung together as a thought (example: the wind tore at the screen door) - and I will write a poem of at least 8 lines using that phrase. Can't guarantee a 24 hour turn around, but that's what I aim for.....thanks





[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 08-04-99).]
Ron
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since 05-19-99
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1 posted 08-04-99 12:20 AM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

You are much too good at this! So good, in fact, that I question whether such phrases are really much of a challenge any longer. So... let's add a little wrinkle!

Here's the phrase:

Where fireflies never fly


And here's the wrinkle:

Maintain the alliteration and assonance, much as Poe did in The Bells.

Poet deVine
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2 posted 08-04-99 12:30 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

This may take more than 24 hours! Yikes!
Poet deVine
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3 posted 08-04-99 01:27 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine



Where the Fireflies Never Fly


Oíer here where fireflies never fly
cannot fly!
Where darkness is a price too high
for the glow, glow, glow
of the firefly burning bright
While night winds kiss the earth
with promise of firefly birth
nary one is in heavenís sight;
not a flare, flare, flare
no fireflies are there
to dust fairy lights in the sky
from the flicker, flicker, flicker
where the fireflies never fly
Ron
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since 05-19-99
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4 posted 08-04-99 02:09 AM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

That was a FAST 24 hours! And a wonderful job, I might add. I especially like the lines:

While night winds kiss the earth
with promise of firefly birth


Beautiful, flowing stuff!

Now, I obviously didn't add nearly enough wrinkles to constitute a real challenge for you. I'll try to do better in the future. In the meantime, let's see if anyone else can come up with something better able to stretch those poetic muscles. Hey, maybe we need a new forum: Stump deVine
Nicole
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since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


5 posted 08-04-99 03:37 AM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Funny you should post this challenge request...I've had this line running around in my head for days. I'm glad to be rid of it!!


Walking along the razor's edge of idiocy



Happy Writing!!
Poet deVine
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6 posted 08-04-99 07:53 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine


Walking along the razor's edge of idiocy
spurned poet cut by a loverís tongue
angry passion drips like vitriol
as words of retribution are slung
with the efficiency of a surgeonís blade
to remove the offending heart
wished you now, youíd kept your complaint
so an argument would never start
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


7 posted 08-04-99 12:39 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Well done!!! I can only hope to gain a fraction of your skill one day.
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


8 posted 08-04-99 12:49 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

Livin' la vida loca

Just kidding...
try this:

That which you see, cannot be
Poet deVine
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9 posted 08-04-99 09:28 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Sorry it took so long...had to put in 8 hours of work today - to pay for my internet usage..


You feel a fluttering of leathery wings
brush quickly against your shoulder
a putrid scent envelopes you
and you gag upon itís odor

then in a silver sliver of moon
the creature is revealed .
That which you see, cannot be;
you stop, your blood congealed.

A Devil hovers in the corner
fangs drawn at the ready
you reach out for the bed
legs suddenly unsteady

A God fearing soul, you always thought
an golden Angel would soon appear
but instead, the Devil came
to taunt you in your fear.

JP
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since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


10 posted 08-05-99 10:04 AM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

Positively fantabulous! You amaze the unamazable dear lady.

Poeta nasciture, non fit
JP
Ladycat
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since 07-05-99
Posts 809
At the edge and a doorway,TX


11 posted 08-05-99 03:50 PM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

Like a Cat hanging upside down from a tree.. No offense to Alicat... Though sometimes I want to hang him upside down..

Phrase: Like a Cat hanging upside down from a tree..

------------------
Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.


Poet deVine
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12 posted 08-05-99 09:49 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine


I am like a duck swimming under the water
Like a cat hanging upside down from a tree
I live in perpetual confusion
No longer cataloged so neatly

You walked into my world last week
and suddenly my mind went blank
I began to make deposits at church
and weekly donations to the bank

Whirling through my head right now
are thoughts of love at first sight
all you did was deliver my mail
and make me believe in Mr. Right!


Sweet T
Member
since 06-14-99
Posts 65
mesa, arizona maricopa


13 posted 08-06-99 11:49 AM       View Profile for Sweet T   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sweet T

Well I am truly amazed at your talent. Here is one
Long lonely life started anew with one kiss.
It is really a stretch but I thought I would join the band wagon.


P.S
I took your advise on my poem and it is titled Dear Love. I would really like your input on it.
Poet deVine
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14 posted 08-06-99 10:09 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine


Like a wounded turtle, Ted Macy shuffled down the hall
one hand was on his three-legged cane, the other on the wall
only two hundred feet long, it seemed to take him forever
but Ted would not rest til finished with this endeavor.

Heíd been here at Happy Home for almost fifteen years
after burying his wife, Adelaide, and wiping away his tears
Living alone but never alone, Ted existed from day to day
hardly speaking to the others there, he didnít have much to say

But today there was a change in Ted, his step was somewhat quicker
and in his rheumy eyes there was, a small excited flicker
Last night Maryís peck on his cheek make him feel like this
now, his long, lonely life, started anew with just one kiss
Ladycat
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At the edge and a doorway,TX


15 posted 08-07-99 03:45 AM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

What can I say other than that you are the Queen.. All of these pieces were absolutely wonderful.. WOW!!!!


Now this is the woman that every man should want..

Love,
Lady


------------------
Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.


redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


16 posted 08-07-99 01:07 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

She's not looking for Mr Right
she's just looking for Mr right now.

hehehe

I've tried to work on this for AGES to find a way to not make the poor girl sound like a ...err..loose woman.

Wanna try?
Christopher
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since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


17 posted 08-08-99 12:55 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

You are too good,
My dear ms deVine,
try to do something,
with this very next line...

Phrase: An intricate maelstrom of madness

(ps. it's the title of a poem I posted today, but i really like the phrase!)

------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.
-Unknown-
So let the sun beat down upon my face,
It's warmth will dry my tears.
Poet deVine
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Posts 25869
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18 posted 08-08-99 06:16 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

She used to fall in love so easily
she was every con manís prey
innocent but worldly wise
liberated but fey

So she's not looking for Mr. Right
she's just looking for Mr. right now
Her idea of a loverís commitment
doesnít include a loverís vow

Burned too many times by lust
she thought was meant as love
reaching out to grab a hand
only to get an empty glove

Mr. Right may be exist somewhere
but she wonít pursue that dream
sheís learned a lesson from her past
use Ďem and lose Ďem is now her scheme
Poet deVine
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Posts 25869
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19 posted 08-08-99 06:31 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine


Clutching his insanity he weaves
an intricate maelstrom of madness
His mother tried to give him comfort
though it filled her heart with sadness

He cried out for unseen enemies
and keened a song of the dead
Doctors probed and prodded, but
found nothing wrong with his head

he looked out to a world unknown
where he lived just days ago
but now he lived in a place called hell
where no living man should go

darkness shrouds his gaiety
gloom has become his friend
a forever of nothingness
in his world without end


(Note: if you look at the time of the previous reply and the time I posted this poem, it will tell you how long it took to write this one.)
Christopher
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Purgatorial Incarceration


20 posted 08-09-99 09:53 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

#@%$*& And I thought I'd get you on that one!!! Oh well, i say pouting, choo -r- joost 2 gut f'r mi!!!
(Well Done!, I am definitly IMPRESSED!)

------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.
-Unknown-
So let the sun beat down upon my face,
It's warmth will dry my tears.
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