navwin » Discussion » Poetry Challenge! » In the Stillness of the Night...
Poetry Challenge!
Post A Reply Post New Topic In the Stillness of the Night... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Fofinha
New Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 8
Clifton, CO, USA

0 posted 1999-07-28 12:14 PM


This doesn't flow to well...help....

I hear your voice
in the stillness of the night
whispering my name

I try to ignore
you calling my name
but your voice grows louder

As tears begin to stream down my face
I can no klonger deny
my love for you

Here in the stillness of the night.



------------------
It is a rare and special thing
to find a friend
who will remain a friend forever...

© Copyright 1999 Fofinha - All Rights Reserved
Sweet T
Member
since 1999-06-14
Posts 64
mesa, arizona maricopa
1 posted 1999-07-28 12:35 PM


Your words say a lot. I think that all you need to do is put more umph in the stillness part. If this person is like a love you want to forget focus on how hard it is to forget. If it is about a lost friend give more umph to the depression of that loss. I am a beginning poet and I hope that this can help you a little bit. If not then at least I tried. To me though it is a great poem.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Discussion » Poetry Challenge! » In the Stillness of the Night...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary