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Passions in Poetry

Can You Help Me Write This?

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Sweet T
Member
since 06-14-99
Posts 65
mesa, arizona maricopa


0 posted 07-26-99 01:09 PM       View Profile for Sweet T   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sweet T

Can my blood turn your devils heart back to
red?
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 07-26-99 08:11 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Take a minute to write down what you want to say in this poem. Don't be poetic. Just write it down. May take a sentence or a page.

Now, put it in order...how do you want it to begin?

What's next?

Now, write it out line by line
like this
without worrying about
rhymes

If it reads good this way, it's free verse.
If not, you may need to rhyme.
Got a rhyming dictionary? It's useful when stumped. Got a dictionary and a Thesaurus? These are essential.

Can another word sound better than the one you're using? Change it.

I know you probably were hoping for some phrases to help you out, but this is a good lesson on how to write something from a phrase. I do it all the time!

Good luck! (Let me know if you need any more help. Feel free to e-mail me or contact me via ICQ. Both are viewable in my profile.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


2 posted 07-27-99 01:46 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

de Vine

Thanks for the tips - I'll just slide on outta here and get to work

hugs
Sweet T
Member
since 06-14-99
Posts 65
mesa, arizona maricopa


3 posted 07-27-99 02:17 PM       View Profile for Sweet T   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sweet T

Thank You, that does help me. Until I have it finished. tootles
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


4 posted 07-27-99 08:17 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

my blood?? (as in?)

and turn his back into red".. ?
(meaning... what?)

is "red" a good thing?

great play on words.. but be sure you know what you want to say..

Sounds to me like maybe you want to say.. "how much do I have to sacrafice to get you to love me again"..

is that right??

but... if the guy has a "devils" heart..
wheww.. why would you want him anyway??

best thing I have found... when writing.. is try not to "make something sound cool"..
just sit down and write down every single thing you ever wanted to say to the person.. and usually.. a line will stand out
that jumps out at you....

try it.. see if that works.. because.
all listeners recognize honesty when they hear it..

hope that helps...

Red
Sweet T
Member
since 06-14-99
Posts 65
mesa, arizona maricopa


5 posted 07-28-99 12:30 PM       View Profile for Sweet T   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sweet T

It helped a lot thank you. Red is a good thing, all I am saying is that the pains of his past have hardened his heart to black. And I was hoping that with genuine love I could help him to love again. Kind of like saying if I breathed my air into his lungs life would then again appear in heart.

lol. Sweet T
Cobra
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 60


6 posted 07-29-99 08:02 PM       View Profile for Cobra   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cobra

Not bad start. I understand what you are saying, but will others? To make sure, your song should have different examples of what you are sying. Like this:

Can my blood turn your devils heart back to red?

Can my life bring your soul back from the dead?

---------------------------------------------
Not exactly the best example, but you understand what I mean. Good luck!
 
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