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Open Poetry #20
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-06-09 01:17 AM



I can remember a bit of beauty --
her petals unfolding in the chair.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
her dark mascara stare.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
out there on the stair.
I swear the rain was not damp.
I remember she was not there.

I can remember a bit of beauty --
the softness of her laugh.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
like a summer epitaph.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
like winter on the sea.
I swear the shore was not sand.
I remember she was not with me.

I can remember a bit of beauty --
the steam from off the street.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
the shadows of her feet.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
the secrets of her face.
I swear her eyes were not stone.
I cannot remember the place.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
1 posted 2002-06-09 01:26 AM


I can remember a bit of beauty --
her petals unfolding in the chair.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
her dark mascara stare.

Mr.Squirrel, you sure do have a wonderful way with those words...It must be a rodent thing.

I like your new picture.

~ furry rodent hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-06-09 01:31 AM


I can remember a bit of beauty --
the steam from off the street.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
the shadows of her feet.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
the secrets of her face.
I swear her eyes were not stone.
I cannot remember the place.

Damn, if that just didn't hit it, square on the head.

[This message has been edited by Duncan (06-09-2002 01:47 AM).]

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-06-09 01:40 AM


Glad you both enjoyed my whinin' and mopin'. And th' picture. *wink*

She said burn ... together.
-TON

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2002-06-09 02:03 AM


tsk...to me...I CAN'T.


I tend to forget--immediately...

much to my dismay, and sometimes?

to my relief...

love ya mike...for yr understanding.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2002-06-09 05:02 AM


Like this...James
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2002-06-09 05:07 AM


Mike
I love that little tid bit at the end of the last verse.
This entire poem is much more than just a bit of beauty, it's beautiful all the way through!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2002-06-09 10:49 AM



BSQ...this is wonderful!  
The repetition works so well in this one...
gads...a Keeper!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2002-06-09 11:11 AM


I can remember a bit of beauty --
her petals unfolding in the chair.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
her dark mascara stare.

I can remember a bit of beauty --
out there on the stair.
I swear the rain was not damp.
I remember she was not there.

I can remember a bit of beauty --
the softness of her laugh.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
like a summer epitaph.
I can remember a bit of beauty --
like winter on the sea.
I swear the shore was not sand.
I remember she was not with me.
===============================

your imagery is so--SO much more than a bit of beauty....
I do so love the way your mind works and seeing things thru your eyes.

When man is lead to arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations
When mans concern narrows, poetry reminds him the diversity of existence

JFK

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
9 posted 2002-06-09 12:43 PM



Hi Mike,

Just like Lyra says you have a way with words, squirrels a perseptive little animals anyway...hehe


[This message has been edited by ecrivan (06-09-2002 12:44 PM).]

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
10 posted 2002-06-09 01:11 PM


Well, I might have to call this your best yet. It's wonderful.
Sandra

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
11 posted 2002-06-09 05:48 PM


Loved your format here Mike...

how are things then????

I'm sure you'll let me know sometime...so I'll be awaitin!!!

Take care sweets!!
`~D

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
12 posted 2002-06-09 07:46 PM


Mike darling boy this is simply exquisite, I truly love this diamond from you. You have an amazing ability to write with such clarity. And this had me utterly entranced by your writing

As always darling heart you excel and I love it I love it utterly utterly. This is superb writing darling boy


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
13 posted 2002-06-09 10:04 PM


Amazing writing here Mike!
Loved the repetition...it added so much.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2002-06-09 10:36 PM


BSquirrel~
My god ... this is beautiful !!!
You have grown so much in your writing ...
it's a true pleasure to read you~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

15 posted 2002-06-09 11:36 PM


She said burn ... together.
-TON

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