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bags123
Member

since 2002-06-06

Posts 128

0 posted 2002-06-07 09:18 AM

Rude Forgiveness

I don't need
your rude forgiveness
offered by
an acid tongue

I still live
with poison bulletts
fired by
your coffined lungs

I don't need
your understanding
never can
I quite relate

I still wake
from lucid nightmares
over you
the one I hate

I don't need
long conversations
dealing with
your great despair

I still wish
you pain and sorrow
held in
death's discerning stare.

[This message has been edited by bags123 (06-07-2002 10:11 AM).]

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2002-06-07 09:23 AM

Excellent...wow...one thing...I believe
dispair would be better if it were despair..

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2002-06-07 09:24 AM

Wow! Bags!

What a powerful rebuttal!
I hope I never cross you.

This is an exceptional write!
The meter and rhyme excellent with the thoughts attacking the reader with resolve!!

bags123
Member

since 2002-06-06

Posts 128

3 posted 2002-06-07 09:33 AM

Thanks Magnus and ethome
Yes I did mispell dispair thanks for catching that. I'm also a clux (sp) when it comes to posting. Sorry for the duplicate inconvenience.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

4 posted 2002-06-07 10:19 AM

Trust me on this one....ALL of us have had
problems posting poetry....including
your's truly....ME...

I think it is klutz....I know...cause I have
been called that before...by myself..

And...you are far from an inconvenience...
soooooo...dontcha worry bout it....OK?

bags123
Member

since 2002-06-06

Posts 128

5 posted 2002-06-07 10:23 AM

LOL, Thanks for the encouragement

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2002-06-07 10:47 AM

Ouch! The sting!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

7 posted 2002-06-07 03:02 PM

Yee-ouch! (she says with great admiration *G*) I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of such dexterity with verbal knives... but now I know who to come to when I need to tell someone off. *G* I like this very much.

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