blinks of an eye - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #20

blinks of an eye

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2002-06-04 12:08 PM

I can’t sleep no more,
‘cause I’m afraid to dream,
and the dreams are not
what I dreamt them to be.

Swished away in time
an old man hangs his head
and with every blink of an eye
a tear is shed for memories
younger than he.

I remember then
it was not that long ago
but I can’t tell what was a dream,
and what my eyes have truly seen,
‘cause the years have passed me by
now dreams are just the same old memories.

[This message has been edited by Effigy (06-04-2002 09:21 AM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2002-06-04 01:12 AM

BLINK! Winkin, blinkin, noddin?
Maybe a smaller font would let you sleep peacefully? LOL, I enjoyed this, Wes.

Cirrus
Member

since 2002-05-12

Posts 55

2 posted 2002-06-04 01:36 AM

this is great, these are my favourite lines.....

Swished away in time
an old man hangs his head
and with every blink of an eye
a tear is shed for memories
younger than he.

enjoyed

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

3 posted 2002-06-04 09:22 AM

Thank you.

forne_marin
Member

since 2004-04-13

Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina

4 posted 2004-05-14 08:40 AM

Wes,

This is interesting, and has potential, but needs work.

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.