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Passions in Poetry

blinks of an eye

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Effigy
Member
since 04-11-2000
Posts 490
Just sitting at the computer


0 posted 06-04-2002 12:08 AM       View Profile for Effigy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Effigy


I canít sleep no more,
Ďcause Iím afraid to dream,
and the dreams are not
what I dreamt them to be.

Swished away in time
an old man hangs his head
and with every blink of an eye
a tear is shed for memories
younger than he.

I remember then
it was not that long ago
but I canít tell what was a dream,
and what my eyes have truly seen,
Ďcause the years have passed me by
now dreams are just the same old memories.



[This message has been edited by Effigy (06-04-2002 09:21 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Effigy - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


1 posted 06-04-2002 01:12 AM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

BLINK! Winkin, blinkin, noddin?
Maybe a smaller font would let you sleep peacefully? LOL, I enjoyed this, Wes.
Cirrus
Member
since 05-12-2002
Posts 58


2 posted 06-04-2002 01:36 AM       View Profile for Cirrus   Email Cirrus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cirrus

this is great, these are my favourite lines.....

Swished away in time
an old man hangs his head
and with every blink of an eye
a tear is shed for memories
younger than he.


enjoyed
Effigy
Member
since 04-11-2000
Posts 490
Just sitting at the computer


3 posted 06-04-2002 09:22 AM       View Profile for Effigy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Effigy

Thank you.
forne_marin
Member
since 04-13-2004
Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina


4 posted 05-14-2004 08:40 AM       View Profile for forne_marin   Email forne_marin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit forne_marin's Home Page   View IP for forne_marin

Wes,

This is interesting, and has potential, but needs work.

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

 
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