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Passions in Poetry

Love's Symptons

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jamesjiao
Member
since 04-12-2000
Posts 270
Backwaters of Avalon


0 posted 05-30-2002 03:08 AM       View Profile for jamesjiao   Email jamesjiao   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit jamesjiao's Home Page   View IP for jamesjiao

Love's symptons


My heart sank, a twig caught its tail
My legs shook, declining orders,
When you wondered what could I ail
I could think nothing but blunders.

And then my blood rushed to my face
obscuring my view and my way.
Lost sight of objects round the place  
the world seemed midnight at noonday.

Though I failed myself to see things
some words from trachea did murmur.
They uttered like chords from my strings,
tuneless and full of disorder.

Is psychology winter's choice?
Or is your company snow's bless?
You might have dissected my low voice  
at least bits and pieces more or less.

I ne'er favoured Freudian theory
as it raised too much attention.
You swayed my principles bleary
so now it's the best conception.

I often step on my shoe lace
thinking of you plus coming test
My heart has left its dwelling place
I still need it to patch my nest.

Ne'er was I struck before that hour
by the love that gently amuses.
Your presence, like the sweetest flower
stole my heart for your private uses.


- James
The beauty of nature is displayed,
not through itself,
but through the creatures
dwelling within its bosom.


[This message has been edited by jamesjiao (05-30-2002 03:10 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 James Jiao - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


1 posted 05-30-2002 06:14 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

Wow! This is simply beautiful poetic writing!  I know those feelings and you've portrayed them here in the most elegant and memorable manner.
Excellent language to describe those feelings of love that make the thoughts from the heart stumble.
Enjoyable!
jamesjiao
Member
since 04-12-2000
Posts 270
Backwaters of Avalon


2 posted 05-30-2002 06:34 AM       View Profile for jamesjiao   Email jamesjiao   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit jamesjiao's Home Page   View IP for jamesjiao

Thanks ethome for you comment

I think i just have to clear a few things up about this poem.

The person I am writing this poem for and I both study psychology in uni (hence the line 'Is psychology winter's choice' and '.. Freudian theory' :0 ).

We have a test coming up in 2 days (hence the line '... plus coming test').

- James
The beauty of nature is displayed,
not through itself,
but through the creatures
dwelling within its bosom.


jamesjiao
Member
since 04-12-2000
Posts 270
Backwaters of Avalon


3 posted 05-30-2002 06:45 AM       View Profile for jamesjiao   Email jamesjiao   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit jamesjiao's Home Page   View IP for jamesjiao

I actually need some suggestions from you guys here. I have known her for only 1 month. I enjoy every moment with her. She also seems to be happy with me and is getting increasingly comfortable with me. However, with a sudden rush of blood, I decided to email this poem to her today. I am not sure what her reaction will be to this email. In the email, i also explicitly told her that I am chasing her . I am just afraid of losing her.. even as a friend .

- James
The beauty of nature is displayed,
not through itself,
but through the creatures
dwelling within its bosom.


ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


4 posted 05-30-2002 08:03 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

That's the beauty of this language.... I took those lines in another perspective and I think they work that way too.

Unless you're terribly afraid of rejection I think I'd be letting her know at least to some extent how you feel. You don't have to be open to the point of embarassing her but subtly, you could express your feelings. She's obviously well educated and you both have something in common so she's going to pick up on it!  Can't see the poem hurting anything!!
C'mon you're studying phycology....or is that what scares you?!?

[This message has been edited by ethome (05-30-2002 08:05 AM).]

jamesjiao
Member
since 04-12-2000
Posts 270
Backwaters of Avalon


5 posted 05-30-2002 08:11 AM       View Profile for jamesjiao   Email jamesjiao   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit jamesjiao's Home Page   View IP for jamesjiao

I guess it's because I haven't had much experience in 'chasing' girls. Actually I admit I have never chased a girl in my life. I liked some girls before, but they either had boyfriends or were killed in car accidents. Lucky me :-(

But I will take your advice into my heart . Yes I study psychology, and this is scary since we can both see 'thru' each other .
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


6 posted 05-30-2002 08:21 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Very nice expression of your feelings...James
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


7 posted 01-10-2003 02:33 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

James this one snuck in on me - I usually notice all your new poems, but I missed this. This is your best poem yet I think!!! I love the second line, that's brilliant.. and the second to last stanza is fantastic. ^_^

Nice to read more of your work..

-Lynne
PS. what did she say about the e-mail? Was she ok about it??

It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold.

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