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Passions in Poetry

From the Soddy during the Lonesome Time

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Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


0 posted 05-29-2002 09:07 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


From the Soddy during the Lonesome Time

Sit with me, dear heart, do
watch the seasons come full view
the prairies' wind calls to scene
the visions of this nightly dream

Mists would fly about your face
in dreams stretch for your embrace
but dreams are fickle as we know
and lost you were in campfire's glow

Around me danced the heart of you
as on and on the seasons flew
I held you close then saw you far
as someone held mistsí door ajar

For you are love, the stick that burns
gray mists are but pages, softly turned
it is when the hand falls to the face
that dreams wrap gentle our embrace


~*~


©Karilea Rilling Jungel
29 May 2002


[This message has been edited by Sunshine (05-29-2002 09:13 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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since 12-17-2000
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City of Roses


1 posted 05-29-2002 09:14 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(smiles) Awwwwwww, I love the gentle and comforting feel of this, sweet friend, it felt just like resting on the plains camping out in the open and looking up at the clouds in the slight breeze! (sigh) This is lovely, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

icequeen
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since 12-09-2001
Posts 649
FL USA


2 posted 05-29-2002 09:15 PM       View Profile for icequeen   Email icequeen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for icequeen

What a wonderfully enchanting read. I was just entranced by this!  The imagery is fantastic.  More please!

...and her crown was formed by the ice in her eyes

Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


3 posted 05-29-2002 09:16 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Around me danced the heart of you
as on and on the seasons flew
I held you close then saw you far
as someone held mistsí door ajar

For you are love, the stick that burns
and gray mists are pages, softly turned
it is when the hand falls to the face
that dreams wrap gentle our embrace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah Karilea!!  Now you just know I love this!
I didn't even want to try to choose my favourite lines or stanzas,
but I would think it would come down to these two....
Love this...and into my library this keeper goes.
~Hugs~
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


4 posted 05-30-2002 03:06 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Around me danced the heart of you
as on and on the seasons flew
I held you close then saw you far
as someone held mists' door ajar

For you are love, the stick that burns
gray mists are but pages, softly turned
it is when the hand falls to the face
that dreams wrap gentle our embrace

=================================

you were expecting me right?
the moth is late and slow these days...
but the only way to keep a keeper is to check the treasure box
Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 11-06-2000
Posts 8628
Deep in the heart


5 posted 05-30-2002 03:13 PM       View Profile for Interloper   Email Interloper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Interloper

This is absolutely enchanting

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


6 posted 05-30-2002 03:50 PM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

Another delightful write by Sunshine!

Remember this old classic....

       Sunshine came softly through my window today
       I could have tripped out easy but I've changed my ways.
       It'll take time I know it, but in a while...
       You're gonna be mine and I know it, we'll do it in style.
      
       Cause I've made my mind up you're going to be mine
       I'll tell you right now...
       Any trick in the book, oh baby, that I can find.
       Everybody's hustling just to have a little scene.
       When I say we'll be cool, well, I think that, you know what I
       mean.
       We stood on a beach at sunset, do you remember when...
       I know a beach where baby, it never ends.
      
       When you've made your mind up forever to be mine.
       I'll pick up your hand and slowly, blow your little mind.
       Cause I've made my mind up you're going to be mine
       I'll tell you right now...
       Any trick in the book, oh baby, that I can find
      
       Superman or Green Lantern ain't got, nothin' on me.
       I can make like a turtle and dive for pearls in the sea
       You can just sit there thinkin', on your velvet throne
       About all the rainbows you can have for your own.
      
       When you've made your mind up forever to be mine.
      
       I'll tell you right now...
       I'll pick up your hand and slowly, blow your little mind.
      
       When you've made your mind up forever to be mine.
       I'll pick up your hand and slowly, blow your little mind.
      
       I'll tell you right now...


Do you remember the "Green Lantern"   I don't?
I think all these guys were big time smokers.....but this is a cute one!

Your pen name reminded me of this song so off I go on a tangent!

He he have a nice day!
suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


7 posted 05-30-2002 03:56 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

I knew from the title I was going to like this one... and I do. *S* Well done, Sunshiney one. *S*
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 03-19-2001
Posts 13647
West Coast


8 posted 05-30-2002 05:04 PM       View Profile for Dark Stranger   Email Dark Stranger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Stranger



sunshine
you let the page wear the book
one image at a time

enjoyed your view here
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


9 posted 05-30-2002 08:31 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Ooh... you know something, Karilea... I really love these short, well-composed poems of yours.  I think most of the poetry from you that I've enjoyed most has been the stuff you've kept cropped down to a healthy one-digit stanza count.     Not that it's a chore to read your longer ones, but you always seem to add a charming simplicity to the content of your shorter pieces, with more room for the mind of the reader to expand and absorb the message.  Here's how I felt about this piece as a whole.

I like the apostrophe to start out the poem.  Apostrophe is a nice way to open up any poem, really, if used correctly.  You used correctly.  Kudos.     

More on the first stanza.  "Dear heart" instead of "heart" is a good method of indicating the warm, caring tone of the narration, as well as a meter-filler, of course.     I also liked the second line... what a nice way to complete an apostrophe, a gently-phrased request that has positive connotations.  You really wanted a serene feel, didn't you?  Well, you pulled it off.  "Nightly dream" suggests continuity and comfort, the narrator in a familiar and well-known situation, and again gives the speaker an apparently enhanced wisdom.

The second stanza is my favourite.  "dreams are fickle, as we know."  That's a very true and relatable line, I like how it was said.  Especially "as we know," which levels the addresser and the addressee even more.  I like how evenly kept the two parties are in your poem.

Altogether in this poem, what I liked best was your excellent establishment of the narrator's role as passive observer.  Personifications and verbs that referred to influences of nature (which are too many to name).  In fact, the only thing the narrator ever discusses having done is "I held you close then saw you far."  Everything else, verb-wise, is done by the environment.  You really brought the setting to life in this poem.

You and your talent, Sunshine.     I don't know how you do it.

~Allan

All images begin in mirrors and end inside our subconsious.
~Genesis P-Orridge, "Thee Reversal of Fate"

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (05-30-2002 08:33 PM).]

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


10 posted 01-29-2008 01:19 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Sissie...bringing this back, just because.  
 
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