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Open Poetry #20
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2002-05-29 04:26 AM



One-Man Show
©2002 C.G. Ward



flowers and freeways -
I don't feel a grin
brimming the corners of tomorrow anymore,
at least, not like it used to.

remember those days when time paled
beneath the importance of life?
I do, though it dims at times,
clouded over by a grey pall that shelters
as much as it smothers.

it's like a slice through your veins,
spilling security into the open air,
so happiness can oxidize, rust red as it hardens
into a runnel of yesterdays;
a slick path leading toward the demesne of an ogre
that you used to recognize as your persona.

hope used to be real, tangible. used to be
a fixture in the life of this Eternal Man.

but I've never been the hero,
hell, not even the sidekick.
more the lone gunman walking onto stage
and finding the theater empty;
lights are unlit, and the wood creaks beneath feet,
in tune with the silence of an absent audience.
so tap a dance across several moments,
listening to the bars of a forgotten song
strumming in my head - a bit off key,
but what's the point anyway
when there's no one else to judge your performance
save the ghosts of a past
you can't stop researching.

there is a fine line
between redemption and damnation,
and I've never had good balance
where these things are concerned.
no, I've always been better at smiling for a crowd.

© Copyright 2002 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2002-05-29 04:28 AM


OMG! You have such an incredible way with words!! Glad I stayed up late in the wee hours to read something like this! (may even inspire me a bit, who knows?)
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 2002-05-29 04:37 AM


inspiration is wonderful - if i've been able to contribute to that, then this was well worth it! thank you for your time and comments (despite the hour!)

Chris

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-05-29 04:37 AM


remember those days when time paled
beneath the importance of life?---

this could possibly be the summation of my entire difficulty with time!

Oh..but maybe not...but hey? it's as good a theory as any, yes?  

And? (sharon will smile at this...)

there is a fine line
between redemption and damnation,
and I've never had good balance
where these things are concerned.
no, I've always been better at smiling for a crowd.

Wanna Dance luv? TAPS...of course!  

I'm not sure if this is poetry or do-it-yourself brain surgery....and? now? not sure if there's a difference!

*winks*


youch...came back to edit, because it sounded like I didn't enjoy that.....I DID!!!!

[This message has been edited by serenity (05-29-2002 04:39 AM).]

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

4 posted 2002-05-29 07:24 AM


...

more later...letting you know I've read it, and I understand, as well you know. It's very very good btw...substantial and strong writing..moving..
hugs you

K

[This message has been edited by Severn (05-29-2002 07:25 AM).]

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
5 posted 2002-05-29 09:11 AM


One of the great things about reading poetry is the gift it gives to each individual reader. And sometimes really good poetry can have meanings the author didn't intend that can be just as valid as those he set out to expound upon. Whether you intended some of the things I took from it or not, they were as obvious to ( or for ) me as if I had set them to the page myself.

quote:
flowers and freeways -
I don't feel a grin
brimming the corners of tomorrow anymore,
at least, not like it used to.


life used to be all girls and fast cars--filled with living and refreshed hope at every turn-- I don't quite feel that way anymore.

quote:
remember those days when time paled
beneath the importance of life?
I do, though it dims at times,
clouded over by a grey pall that shelters
as much as it smothers.


remember when doing was more important than being?

quote:

it's like a slice through your veins,
spilling security into the open air,
so happiness can oxidize, rust red as it hardens
into a runnel of yesterdays;
a slick path leading toward the demesne of an ogre
that you used to recognize as your persona

hope used to be real, tangible. used to be
a fixture in the life of this Eternal Man.

but I've never been the hero,
hell, not even the sidekick.
more the lone gunman walking onto stage
and finding the theater empty;
lights are unlit, and the wood creaks beneath feet,
in tune with the silence of an absent audience.
so tap a dance across several moments,
listening to the bars of a forgotten song
strumming in my head - a bit off key,
but what's the point anyway
when there's no one else to judge your performance
save the ghosts of a past
you can't stop researching.


like old goal posts left standing on an abandoned field--silent witnesses to both triumphs and failures as well as unrealized glories, but mostly embellished memories and missed opportunity. ( a note here-- don't much care for the word 'researching' seems out of place here somehow )


quote:
there is a fine line
between redemption and damnation,
and I've never had good balance
where these things are concerned.
no, I've always been better at smiling for a crowd


there is point when youth gives way to adulthood-- and damn I have always been so good at being young-- hard to give that up--heh


Capsuled-- I see someone feeling the pain of looking time in the eye - knowing they will be the ones to blink.


One of the more enjoyable of your lately busy muse I have read C.

keep it up

J


There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2002-05-29 12:03 PM


Chris

Not to good myself at giving such in depth critique, so may I just, with much respect, give you a "small smile"?  I do..this touched me.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2002-05-29 12:12 PM



Going past the understanding
I shall let me be your side kick...
for I went past the understanding
into what hit, and stuck quick...

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
8 posted 2002-05-29 12:45 PM


Yep, lots of things in here, my friend...much depth and well written too...

enjoyed...

jwesley

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
9 posted 2002-05-29 01:29 PM


You've got it with this one, don't you?  There's a lot said here.  Sometimes I wish I didn't know you as well as I do, because then I could read your poetry with an unfiltered eye.     Either way though, I always enjoy it (except when you rhyme - har har smooch)

This:

strumming in my head - a bit off key,
but what's the point anyway
when there's no one else to judge your performance
save the ghosts of a past
you can't stop researching.


I think you nailed it squarely. right. there.  It reminds me of something that Ian and I call the "Pollyanna Syndrome".  Hind-sight is not only 20/20...but it's static...somewhat malleable.  Things, for some reason, seem better than they were.  Realizing that for what it was, is the only reason why he and I (for our own reasons) aren't back together now.

And this right here:

more the lone gunman walking onto stage
and finding the theater empty;
lights are unlit, and the wood creaks beneath feet,
in tune with the silence of an absent audience


heh, this made the mom in me just want to CRY! Seriously!  Poor little thing all alone...sigh...here, pick a flavor sweetie.

Okay, I started cutting and pasting the whole poem in here...I know yeah yeah, blah blah, I could yap for hours if you let me.

Hugs dahling  
BOL
N

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
10 posted 2002-05-29 11:45 PM


there is a fine line
between redemption and damnation,
and I've never had good balance
where these things are concerned.
no, I've always been better at smiling for a crowd.


I know what it feels like..to straddle that fence. Still smiling. That superimposed grin of nonchalance. Remarkable expression. The entirety is so...real and yet..vintage...I say that because it seems to point to a certain..stage..of your life.

Sincerely,
Reg

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

11 posted 2002-05-30 12:23 PM


there is a fine line
between redemption and damnation,
and I've never had good balance
where these things are concerned.
no, I've always been better at smiling for a crowd.

Ya know, C...I've been the hero, I've been the sidekick...I prefer being on stage alone.  Then I know that all the applause is for me!!!
Seriously, this is an admirable write.  I'm 'studying' you, lately.  Not for credit, just auditing the class...lol.


Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where I started
Chasing after you

Lifehouse

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
12 posted 2002-05-30 08:59 PM


Christopher, this is so good, I am sitting here in awe. This absolutely states that feeling SO WELL
Sandra

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
13 posted 2002-06-01 01:59 AM


Karen - dance? sure, uhm... can we take it slow though? i am getting old... brain surgery... no, i don't think there is always a difference - though fictino does have a part.

K - thanks you.

J - thank you sir. the morning following, i realized that this could be much more, and have intentions of working on it... it came out over the course of several minutes late that night, and it seemed good at the time... i will take your suggestions in mind, and try not to lose the feeling that i think you've nailed dead-on.

martie - no worries lady. critique isn't important, reading is. thank you for doing that!

kari - you, my sidekick? oh the fun i could have... thanks

jwesley - thank you as well for reading. glad you enjoyed.

nic - no worries, rhyme is few and (thankfully) far between... i think my next one's due 'round october... of 2005. uhm - i want strawberry, k? hugs you, and always, thanks.

reg - bad pun, bad! thank you for your in-depth review. real and vintage... that makes two - then and now, and oh so right. thanks lady

D - a hero? sandwich? thank you kind sir for not reporting me to the authorities (i'll have your bribe check later). good quote, btw, love Lifehouse

Sandra - awe is good! so well that you were able to understand and associate. peace on you.

C


Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
14 posted 2002-06-01 08:59 AM


but what's the point anyway
when there's no one else to judge your performance
save the ghosts of a past
you can't stop researching.

These lines really hit home for me. I spent more years than I care to remember, doing just that. This is a great piece of writing Chris. I’ll save the critiques for others who are better at that…I just know what I like, and this spoke volumes to me. Must say though, I do like the use of the word researching, since it is what we do, though, dissecting would fit also.

Everything is possible in the game of life
    (Simple Minds-Promised You a Miracle)

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