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Open Poetry #20
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kaile
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singapore

0 posted 2002-05-27 08:39 AM


he hunched slowly
to us, clearing
our plates and the morsels
of food spilled carelessly
on the table

i said thank you
in his dialect, almost
vehemently, hoping
my gratitude could
somehow turn more tangible

he didn't acknowledge
but left for the next table

he would do that
all night, armed with
chilli-stained cloths and a cigarette
gripped in the mouth, ignored
by most too absorbed
in their tales of joy and woe


[This message has been edited by faterider (05-27-2002 08:41 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
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since 2000-07-29
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Victoria Australia
1 posted 2002-05-27 09:18 AM


faterider,
you paint a great picture of the invisible man (a table clearer) Excellent!
Kethry

Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-05-27 09:35 AM


faterider
I too say excellent write. Enjoyed

kaile
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singapore
3 posted 2002-05-27 10:21 AM


thanks for reading, Kethry and Seymour Tabin...i felt an overwhelming sadness that this elderly still had to work for his living...i was almost embarrassed to be seen eating...
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2002-05-27 10:45 AM


This is a vivid 'portrait'. I enjoyed it very much
Madame Chipmunk
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since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
5 posted 2002-05-27 11:35 AM


You painted this portrait so very vividly, faterider....It really made him real to me...I could almost smell his cigarette smoke....yuk!

beautifully expressed!

~ vivid hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Mistletoe Angel
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6 posted 2002-05-27 01:35 PM




WOW, I agree with Madame C's comment, I could envision the entire image reading this, it is very powerful! (sigh) You always make such wonderful visions with your words, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Heng, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

kaile
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singapore
7 posted 2002-05-27 09:46 PM


thanks Poet deVine for reading and for picturing the man in your mind..i hate it when someone goes on, neglected by society..

Lyra, LOL about the cigarette smoke...returning vivid hugs back..

Noah, thanks for your fantastic compliment..it is readers like you, who somehow never tire of my wordy, cliched musings that make me persever ...otherwise i would have given up writing a long time ago...

thanks all for reading

Mon Cherie
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8 posted 2002-06-05 12:37 PM


Well done, faterider!

You've described really well something that many of us might have taken for granted. I guess the old man has grown cynical, thinking that gratitude from the patrons are just insincere. Afterall, how many would remember him after they left the place?

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

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Listening to every heart
9 posted 2002-06-05 12:45 PM



Yes, the Invisible Man...well done!

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