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ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 727
Wisconsin

0 posted 2002-05-27 04:17 AM

Breathing, furthermore sometimes I wish
wish it were not so enthralling
wishing more for simple things, exhaling
or inhaling something aromatic and refreshing for once
watching at night as my artistic darkness
overtakes the memories of what once was
something enchanting I often encounter is the
constant fading of what is soon to be
feeling the memories pouring out of
the midnight enchantress we call
darkness
soliloquy from my soul
meeting the canvas in shades of pastel pearls on
black
outstanding
where the solitude entangles the bitterness
of what once was... feeling the heat
rise from the floor, filled with intimation, caressing
brushing my heart on its journey to the
forbidden chapters in the creation of my story
places that scare me for fear of
discontent
in what could be the never-ending
shortcoming of this shadowed symphony

me.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.

[This message has been edited by ThUnDeRkYsS (05-27-2002 01:44 PM).]

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

1 posted 2002-05-27 10:52 AM

This is so very good. Wow, I can't come up with anythig more profound. I used to be able to write free verse, but now I cannot, and when it flows like this, it is so amazing
Sandra

Zinsser
Senior Member

since 2001-02-27

Posts 1641
Calif.

2 posted 2002-05-27 11:06 AM

This is wonderfull...
Sandra said it all...
~~ Connie ~~

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 727
Wisconsin

3 posted 2002-05-27 01:43 PM

Thank yous to both of you... this is only the second attempt I have ever made at writing free verse, something different for me I guess. Thanks again for the feedback

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.

Jessica

Member

since 2001-06-28

Posts 350
South AL

4 posted 2002-05-30 12:51 PM

This was terrific. You should give free-verse more of a chance to connect with you; you do extremely well at it. I write a lot of free-verse. It gives you the chance to say what's truely on your heart instead of having to find rhyme for everything and it turning out to be something completely diffrent than what you were thinking at the time. Very strong ending, also...

Proud of you... *hugs*

Jessica

[This message has been edited by Jessica (05-30-2002 12:52 PM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2002-05-30 01:02 PM

ThUnDeRkYsS
Well done enjoyed the read.

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