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Open Poetry #20
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further rambling...against better judgement
| Open Poetry #20 |
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further rambling...against better judgement |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I’m willing to bend to wait till the wind finds its direction is clear I’d rather be known than remembered but then it’s not my decision just my dream you hold the only key I will hold your hand if you dare to turn just halfway how is it you can’t see this shouldn’t be thrown away with yesterdays crossword just because every line hasn’t been filled in stop doing life in ink rewrite but I'm lonely now, and I don't know how to get it back to good MB20 [This message has been edited by Duncan (05-28-2002 02:03 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I will hold your hand if you dare to turn just halfway" I know this feeling powerfully emotional Cowboy  |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Damn it darlin…how’s a girl supposed to respond when she can’t see the screen for the tears????  And so I'll remember you |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
in ink rewrite... no, D, ramble on. i'm telling you - it's gonna be good. i like that mind of yours, and it seems well suited to rambling. (hey, tell me if you want any critiques on these, i have a few minor suggestions) |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
stop doing life in ink rewrite Ever hear the expression "careful what you wish for"??? Cause it sure would be easy to rewrite right now And so I'll remember you |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Can't see responses...trying something. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I like this.. "I’d rather be known then remembered" I guess you won't be remembered much if you're not known. Nice ramble! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Cool. I see ya'll. C and T...go for it. Like I got anything to lose. but I'm lonely now, and I don't know how |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
"stop doing life in ink rewrite" No...I don't think so. More, please! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I will hold your hand if you dare to turn just halfway how is it you can't see this shouldn't be thrown away with yesterdays crossword just because every line hasn't been filled in stop doing life in ink rewrite ============================== damn ............................ *moth screaming* 2 poets should be able to rewrite a happy ending!! ( I know I know....something have to be left to play out as intended) D..this is one intense ramble...Im glad you went with "moth judgement" hugs guys me I remembering being one and the same ... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Duncan..you just keep on ramblin'... Cause you just keep on getting better and better!! Dang, this is good!!! ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
More ramblings along the same lies as my heart. Take care. Sandra |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
how is it you can’t see this shouldn’t be thrown away with yesterdays crossword just because every line hasn’t been filled in I love your ramblings, Duncan...but I also like filling in all the lines on the crossword puzzles.... Most poets love words....and yours are special. Well done.  ~ hope you feel better soon.Lyra |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) Oh Duncan, I'm so sorry to hear you feeling bluew, sweet friend, I hope you feel better soon, your thoughts as always are amazing! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Me too! "I’d rather be known then remembered" |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Too wierd, Kacy...I was just thinking, 'that's the best line in the poem and noone noticed'...lol. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
ironically D - that's one of the phrases i was going to pick on  but not because it's a bad one. actually, i was kind of confused. i like the idea of the way it's spelled, but it looks almost like a typo without a comma after "known." my eyes expected that phrase to be "known/than remembered" and automatically marks it as a typo. i PREFER "known, / then remembered." it def fits much better and is a good line... but stupid me needs some punctuation! peace, C |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
C---It should have been 'than'. And damnit, I thought about that word, momentary lapse of reason. Though, I like your take on it being 'then'. Reads very differently. And thinking about it...both could apply. As for (lack of) punctuation...it's there. You'll see it. |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Hah hah, I knew it was "than", was gonna point out your typo, but hey...I had other things on my mind!! lol Everything is possible in the game of life |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
uhm - maybe i just 'toopid... but i don't see it!!!  Help!  |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I think you are ramblin' just fine! I enjoyed this poem, and I think the ending closes it out nicely.... |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
I have to agree with Barry on this one. Love the wrapup at the end Duncan. ever deep...runs |
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