navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » Desidero
Open Poetry #20
Post A Reply Post New Topic Desidero Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Cirrus
Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55


0 posted 2002-05-25 08:55 PM


Beside myself
I snub away my wanting
it pleads yes then no then yes again
like a plundering wave
                         palindromos

only the mirror-glass has meaning here
and I wait for silvered answers
                     off reflected sea
but the sea  
          the sea is turbulant
it unfolds and releases
yes then no then yes again

I’m unable to grasp
its inattentive pull
its sandy institution
that one infinitesimal existence
which lies loose eastward crying
yes then no then yes again

and at the end of this land
in the wailing of gulls
in the fresh-smell of pacific
I swallow the sky

again



© Copyright 2002 Cirrus - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2002-05-25 09:01 PM


Cirrus

There is much emotion and longing in this...I could feel it while reading...painting a picture of the currents inside with a great metaphor of the ocean.  Well done!  Welcome to Passions!!!!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2002-05-25 09:01 PM


CIRRUS, WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!
I must say your opening post,
took my breath away!
I certainly look forward to more of your outstanding work.
~Hugs and a big welcome, Nancy~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-05-25 09:52 PM




(smiles) Oh my gosh, this is such a wonderful debut, sweet friend, your words shine as bright as the summer skies, I LOVE IT!!! Welcome to Passions, sweet Cirrus, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! (big hugggssssss) I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Cirrus, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon yu!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
4 posted 2002-05-25 10:14 PM


Great reference to the motion of the sea in this. Wonderful thought provoking write!
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2002-05-25 10:17 PM


I love the way the waves pulled your thoughts in this. Welcome!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
6 posted 2002-05-26 02:48 AM


wonderful metaphor! i liked the allusion without concrete absolution. i can associate... sometimes you just have to try again and again and again. very well done and welcome to passions - will be looking for more.

Chris

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2002-05-26 05:37 AM


Like this...James
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-05-26 05:50 AM


yes then no then yes again...

this was like one of those deceptively simple rides, that swing you back and forth and back again...please take this as compliment--it almost gave me "gas"--

this is one of those poems that hits like music...affected me on a different level..

it made me feel PHYSICALLY--SEA-SICK

AWESOME.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2002-05-26 07:13 AM



Welcome to Passions!  From the looks of this piece, as well as the comments it rendered, I think not only are YOU going to like it here, but we are going to enjoy your company!

Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

10 posted 2002-05-26 08:30 AM


Well.

I know you know. The writing, the pacific reference..yup I know   AOL - good company no?

I have the hopes of crossing the pacific with words still. The pacific is very wide however isn't it. Do you know that certain parts of it..have orange sand?

A fine piece of writing cirrus- and you must explain the meaning of that name to me...

will look for more indeed.

K

[This message has been edited by Severn (05-26-2002 08:41 AM).]

Cirrus
Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55

11 posted 2002-05-26 06:21 PM


Martie, thank you for your wonderful reply and your warm welcome, it's great to be back and thank you for your help with this.

Hi Nancy, thank you so much
for your lovely reply and warm welcome.

Noah, thank you, may love and light shine
upon you too


ethome, I thank you very much  

Midnitesun, I thank you so much for your lovely reply

Hi Christopher, thanks for the warm welcome
Thank you for stopping by and reading and for your lovely reply. Much appreciated.

James, glad you like... thank you.

Serenity, glad you thought it was awesome, after feeling sick too LOL... thank you Luscious.

Hi Sunshine, thanks for your lovely welcome and the greeting card.
Maree.

Kamla, do you ever don't know? You think, you know you know LOL. Which parts of the Pacific have Orange sand btw? curious
Thanks for reading and your lovely reply SB.


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
12 posted 2002-05-27 12:38 PM


quote:
but the sea  
          the sea is turbulant
it unfolds and releases
yes then no then yes again


well-- you KNOW i love this

xo

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
13 posted 2002-05-27 12:46 PM


Cirrus
A good piece of introspective writing. Enjoyed

Cirrus
Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55

14 posted 2002-05-28 05:54 PM


Jamie and Seymour
thanks for popping in and I'm so glad you enjoyed. Thank you for your lovely replies.

furlong
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129

15 posted 2002-06-04 05:38 AM


M

much better 6th draft, onto the 7th .....lol - nope seriously, glad you chucked the "gills".  "palindromos" was inspired! lose the "again", and i still think the definite article before "sky" is unecessary.

otherwise much improved.....much impressed!

F

PS i meant the final "again" of course

PPS you have a bootiful heart btw

F, aka cardiac consultant extra ordinaire

[This message has been edited by furlong (06-04-2002 05:47 AM).]

Cirrus
Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55

16 posted 2002-06-05 02:51 AM


Hello Cardiac Consultant
finished with your patients are you?
Good! heheh
yes finally after 6th and 7th draft I was happy with it. And thanks for all your input m'dear.

and I totally agree with your suggestions Thanks hon.
hugs.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » Desidero

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary