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Open Poetry #20
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2002-05-24 07:01 AM



Maturity

He
called me
mature
or at least
acknowledged so,
my works ~
but did he hear
the soft joyful sigh
deep inside

as I remembered...

When I
was callow
oh how so
the wisdom
of the ages
from the mouth
of sages
did I long for then

as I see now
in the tallow.

The wave I crest
to watch the best
sweep before me
in their gilded words
of poetry
and sigh for I
would be as they

as they touch
on words of young
or leave undone
a treasured chest

for all to read upon.

Tact, fiction or fantasy
are woven by the
best of thee
and harboring lights
within the night
as they write
their poetry

See?

In
the
flicker of
candle's light
the quill has
yet begun to quiver,
enlightening
the chest of treasures,
in swift of swift,
measure for measure,
the count of line
and
heartbeat's
leisure,

I
see
maturity
in the
write, of
centered write,
the best of
me, as did
he who called
my words mature
and now I see
as certain sure
that I shall reach
for youth and
more, for
surety in the
grip of pen
and in
the grasping
gasping
grip
of
me.




Repost, Revised

© Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
CowgirlFreedom17
Member
since 2002-05-20
Posts 82
Mississippi
1 posted 2002-05-24 07:56 AM


Great write!

Don't hold back the words you really mean.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-05-24 08:17 AM




(smiles) Yes, yes, over the years all our hearts continue to grow with every graceful swing of the quill and yet while we mature, that innocence is what inspires us to portray such beauty! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, your poems always havce such meaning to them, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2002-05-24 08:25 AM


Sunshine,
As sure of that as the sun will shine. Good write.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2002-05-24 09:12 AM


Excellent Sunshine!
Your talent is absolutely amazing....
~Morning Hugs to you~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2002-05-24 09:13 AM


...wow...   this is great!! I loved the flow.  

[This message has been edited by SEA (05-24-2002 09:14 AM).]

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
6 posted 2002-05-24 09:16 AM


I like the way you did this, Karilea. Enjoyed reading.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2002-05-24 11:27 AM


Nice revision. You are both callow and mature in your heart. That's where the energy of spirit comes from....always new but sagely spiced!
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
8 posted 2002-05-24 11:30 AM


*sigh* perfection in poetry flows from this poem like the softest silk...I love the way it felt to read this masterpiece of words...
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2002-05-24 12:33 PM


ms sunshine..you make maturity
seem young and vibrant
seductively virgin

enjoyed it

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
10 posted 2002-05-24 12:38 PM


Karilea...I really loved this one...it reminds me of the other night when David and I were watching some of my old videos...and I was thinking about how innocent those times were...

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have the maturity of our present knowledge mixed with the innocence of our youth and the joy of our poetic words...

Beautifully written...

~ mature hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2002-05-24 12:46 PM


The sun is as old as time we know, yet in its touch youth glows...

Lovely writing, Karilea!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2002-05-24 01:02 PM


Karilea~

'as they touch
on words of young
or leave undone
a treasured chest

for all to read upon'


Aaahhhhh~
Such lovely poetic tendrils of thought~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
13 posted 2002-05-24 01:27 PM


Such is the words of the masters before us
who have given us those words to savor and
share in our own poetic ways....

Such are these words you have written...

Very well done KRJ...very well done..

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
14 posted 2002-05-25 03:59 AM


I really enjoyed the flow of this, such great use of words as well that made it all come together but not be confusing as well.  Excellent job.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



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