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Open Poetry #20
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She said my voice is sand
| Open Poetry #20 |
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She said my voice is sand |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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She said my voice is sand. She likes to spread her fingers through -- runnels making tunnels, turrets for a construct castle. The sea comes quick as tide -- salt flavor these pooling words. Seashell marks of periods where I just stare at sky. She said my voice is sand -- I offer up my bucketfuls. Shovel wait. The cool of hand. Pail handle broke again. The sun makes studied reach of light upon this verse of beach. Birds traversing stretch of sea. Some gold yet to be panned from me? She calls me the sandman. A fragrant call of loamy dreams. I taste the stony land. Watch dust spill out from the seams. She said burn ... together. -TON  [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (05-21-2002 07:40 PM).] |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Mike darling boy Oh WOW when YOU write you really write, this is utterly utterly fabulous. This is so incredibly outstanding I love it love it love it, Absolutely perfect poetry, I’ve read fabulous pieces from you before this is simply stunning. Truly you’ve outdone yourself darling heart.    Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
 Danke, Mushy.  Much appreciated.  She said burn ... together. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Mr.Squirrel, you did a terrific job with this imagery... She said my voice is sand -- I offer up my bucketfuls. Shovel wait. The cool of hand. Pail handle broke again. It brought the scene right into my head! and...it was a great idea for a poem, but I don't think I have ever seen a squirrel on the beach. I've seen you guys in parks and woods and around houses, but never on a beach.....I guess I didn't look closely enough  ~furry rodent hugsLyra |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well this begs the question...what else does she call you? Can't wait to see that poetry... BSQ, you've been writing some exceptional poetry lately...and I have been enjoying it very much... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Lyra, it's a secret covert rodent operation to increase visibility of squirrels by "situating" them on beaches. Didn't you get the memo? By the way, I've never understood why people say "secret covert." Isn't that redundant?Karilea, thanks! I've been enjoyin' yr verses, too. She said burn ... together. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
She calls me the sandman. A fragrant call of loamy dreams. I taste the stony land. Watch dust spill out from the seams. I love this..feels like the coast of longing and the desert of a thousand nights and a night..hmmmm.. Sincerely, Reg |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Wow, this reminded me of that classic song "Mr. Sandman", this is magical and may you always be the one that makes her rest in sweet dreams forever! (big hugggssssss) This is lovely, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." Shakira [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (05-21-2002 10:06 PM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike This captured me! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
*bows* Glad y' all enjoyed.  She said burn ... together. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
She says: Your voice is sand, grains of eternity warm and fluid running poetry through my fingers leaving crystal remnant smoothing me with wonder of the facets of each grain... over a thousand cutting edges and somehow? soft as silk... * * *  Yer gorgeous, yanno! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
what can one say when you write like this... Hoping you have a wonderful visit hugs M |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I like this idea. . . it's one that I never thought of. . . but, when I do think of it. . .it makes so much sense. . . great work. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
"Oh Mr Sandman, send me a dream give her a complexion like peaches and cream Give her a hairdo like Sandra Dee Oh Mr Sandman SEND ME A DREAM!! I love wandering through your writing!! ] I like someone who's got some sand in them!! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Oh, I'm full of it. Heh heh. Sand? Or something...Glad you all enjoyed th' dusty words o' stuff. Mike She said burn ... together. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Sen! Y' honor me yet again. Danke!She said burn ... together. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
very cool - love the extended metaphor, and you did it well... bucketfull indeed.  |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I liked your idea, I liked the way you did it, I liked the whole thing. Nan |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I thank y' both!She said burn ... together. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow Mike, this is a keeper! loved the way this felt |
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Enotneicna Member
since 1999-06-06
Posts 340Oakland, Or, USA |
A squirrel on the beach I saw one in some drift wood once on the Oregon coast.......was that you? wonderful, just wonderful.....enjoyed so very much! many blessings always Eno Words are my medicine. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Everyone seems to have taken all my superlatives describing your poem and your work. This is wonderful sir. Tell us what you think her voice is like.... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Heh heh, glad y' all enjoyed. And deVine, this poem came from not knowin' how t' describe voices ... but that's an interesting idea (her voice) -- ah'll think about it. She said burn ... together. |
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