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Open Poetry #20
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Spirit Of Twilight
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since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India

0 posted 2002-05-20 04:56 PM



She lifted the candle to her face
saw her reflection in the mirror.

"I can't live just like this,
a failure at human relations!"
Looking down at her clenched palm,
Eight tablets shone and mocked.

Her eyes wandered to the bottle,
it's glistening clear contents.
Water- to bring life
and to swallow bringers of death.

She looked at herself again,
and at the tablets of death.

Bending forward, she tried to blow
the sweet flame the candle held.
It wavered, shivered and blurred
but didn't die away.

Her eyes widened in understanding,
candles are not just blown away.
They melt into obscure masses
let their souls blaze
and then go away.

In each of us burns a candle-
dim and unsteady at times,
but have you seen a candle blow itself out,
can it do that to itself?

She threw the tablets through the window,
and drew a deep breath.
When death seemed so easy,
life just called her to herself.
I don't mean to glamourize suicide, it's never been a solution to any problem, never an end to hurt and pain. For with the supposed 'end' of hurt and pain, deeper wounds take birth! This is what I mean here.

© Copyright 2002 Neha Malhotra - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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1 posted 2002-05-20 05:02 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Neha, I couldn't agre with you more, I don't believe in suicide at all. I am guilty when I was a little boy of almost believing in it when I was depressed all the time, but then I feel God saved me and I believe it does nothing at all but further destroy the self! (sad sigh) My heart goes out to all of these people that contemplate it and I wish to live rather than die to be reconsidered among them all! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Neha, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Spirit Of Twilight
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since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
2 posted 2002-05-20 05:05 PM


Thank you so much for your kind reply!
Neha

ethome
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since 2000-05-14
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New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2002-05-20 05:07 PM


A very intense start to this one but a very nice poetic and philosophical happy ending! The type of poem that is full of good purpose!
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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4 posted 2002-05-20 05:17 PM



Neha, not everyone wants to write of how hard it is to fight what only seems to be an easy solution to life's problems...but you have shown a way, and that is, to allow life to speak to us even when we seem to be at the end of our rope, so to speak.

I am very glad that you have wrapped up the poem in the way you did - for that is the only alternative - to stand and face one's situation, and to know that somehow, they will come out on top.

Because that is the only way to give back to God the gift he gave us...Life.

Thank you!

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
5 posted 2002-05-20 06:10 PM


quote:
A very intense start to this one but a very nice poetic and philosophical happy ending! The type of poem that is full of good purpose!



Ethome,
Yes, it is full of good purpose, it's something I understood as I saw the candle light, last night. Thank you so much for your reply...it means alot!
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
6 posted 2002-05-20 06:17 PM


quote:
Neha, not everyone wants to write of how hard it is to fight what only seems to be an easy solution to life's problems...but you have shown a way, and that is, to allow life to speak to us even when we seem to be at the end of our rope, so to speak.

I am very glad that you have wrapped up the poem in the way you did - for that is the only alternative - to stand and face one's situation, and to know that somehow, they will come out on top.

Because that is the only way to give back to God the gift he gave us...Life.

Thank you


Thank you Sunshine for your beautiful response. I had put up a poem about this same topic, infact this is a take on it but ends better. I understood that though I didn't mean to give out any message from it, one stood out loud and clear...that too a negative one. I hope this one makes up for it... !
Neha

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
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7 posted 2002-05-20 06:58 PM


this is a really good write, as well as tackling the subject matter in a way that did NOT get the poem pulled (which is a rare thing.)
but the subject matter, while certainly important, to me came second to the technical skill with which this was put together.
this is very, very talented writing, Neha, and i look forward to more from you.
-Dave

vandana
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8 posted 2002-05-20 07:17 PM


enjoy
Nan
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9 posted 2002-05-20 07:59 PM


There's no need to 'make up for' anything, Spirit - but if there were, this  does indeed...
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2002-05-20 08:05 PM


Neha, This is an excellent write on a most difficult topic.  
Suicide does cross certain individuals minds at times,
but we must always remember the gift of life
that God has given us, remember just how precious life is, and honor His wishes.  This piece does have a positive and happier ending
than most on this subject....you have handled it in a most mature manner
and I congratulate you for doing so.
~Hugs, Nancy~

Balladeer
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11 posted 2002-05-20 08:23 PM


Neha, you explained so much in such a human, yet professional manner. I salute, not only your thoughts, but you writing ability
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California
12 posted 2002-05-20 09:20 PM


Spirit of Twilight

It is sad that some suffer so, but you also show the grace of living..with the beautiful example of the candle.  This was well done.

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2002-05-20 09:50 PM


Neha, you have captured these dark feelings and turned them around with the wisdom and understanding that we "can" continue on, even in the most difficult of times. I enjoyed the very positive and inspirational ending to this piece.

Best wishes,
/Kit

kaile
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singapore
14 posted 2002-05-20 11:21 PM


Spirit of Twilight,

of course this makes up for it...and i'm glad you understand our fears..

keep posting

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
15 posted 2002-05-20 11:27 PM


Neha,

your manner of posting and the intricacy of relating such a heavy topic is admirable...we both have a certain subtleness in common I think. Keep tackling those hard to express subjects!


[This message has been edited by ecrivan (05-20-2002 11:28 PM).]

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
16 posted 2002-05-21 02:27 AM


quote:

this is a really good write, as well as tackling the subject matter in a way that did NOT get the poem pulled (which is a rare thing.)
but the subject matter, while certainly important, to me came second to the technical skill with which this was put together.
this is very, very talented writing, Neha, and i look forward to more from you.
-Dave


Dave,
This was a second trial on the same subject, while the other got pulled out, it did read  negative but I didn't mean it...anyway, that's that! I am really glad you liked my poem and found some good in it.
Thanks!
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
17 posted 2002-05-21 02:29 AM


Vandana,
Thanks!
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
18 posted 2002-05-21 02:34 AM


quote:

There's no need to 'make up for' anything, Spirit - but if there were, this  does indeed...  


Thank you Nan, I am glad you posted here!
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
19 posted 2002-05-21 02:38 AM


quote:
Neha, This is an excellent write on a most difficult topic.  
Suicide does cross certain individuals minds at times,
but we must always remember the gift of life
that God has given us, remember just how precious life is, and honor His wishes.  This piece does have a positive and happier ending
than most on this subject....you have handled it in a most mature manner
and I congratulate you for doing so.
~Hugs, Nancy~

Thank you Nancy, it's great to have your reply here, this is a take on the first poem, and much better! I feel it too!
Neha
  

[This message has been edited by Spirit Of Twilight (05-21-2002 02:45 AM).]

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
20 posted 2002-05-21 02:42 AM


quote:
Neha, you explained so much in such a human, yet professional manner. I salute, not only your thoughts, but you writing ability


Balladeer,
Thank you so much for your lovely reply. I hope to see many of your poems and posts.
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
21 posted 2002-05-21 02:47 AM


quote:
Spirit of Twilight
It is sad that some suffer so, but you also show the grace of living..with the beautiful example of the candle.  This was well done.

Thank you Martie for your sweet reply!
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
22 posted 2002-05-21 02:51 AM


quote:
Neha, you have captured these dark feelings and turned them around with the wisdom and understanding that we "can" continue on, even in the most difficult of times. I enjoyed the very positive and inspirational ending to this piece.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Thank you Kit, for your appreciation...I am glad you liked my poem.
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
23 posted 2002-05-21 02:52 AM


quote:
Spirit of Twilight,

of course this makes up for it...and i'm glad you understand our fears..

keep posting

I am glad this makes up for it...when one fears what the others do it becomes easier to understand!
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
24 posted 2002-05-21 02:55 AM


quote:
Neha,

your manner of posting and the intricacy of relating such a heavy topic is admirable...we both have a certain subtleness in common I think. Keep tackling those hard to express subjects!


[This message has been edited by ecrivan (05-20-2002 11:28 PM).]



That's great! I am really glad you liked my poem...and I hope I can tackle other topics with better grace!
Neha

bsquirrel
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25 posted 2002-05-21 04:19 PM


I can feel the pain and realization of this verse. Thanks for sharing it here.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Mysteria
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26 posted 2002-05-21 07:41 PM


Spirit of Twilight - not only did you expose what would be an accurate account of the human psyche at a time of such a indecision, but you showed so well metaphorically how easily one life could be over by the extinguishing of the candle, or letting it burn and change form into something new. This sends out such a positive image of hope, for there is always hope in "changing form" or looking at something in a different way.  I would love to have seen your first poem - can you send it to me in my email?  Extremely well done, with intent, and you surpassed your goal.   

  

~* Carpe' Diem *~

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
27 posted 2002-05-22 02:09 AM


quote:
I can feel the pain and realization of this verse. Thanks for sharing it here.

I am glad you read my poem and felt the pain and realization...the biggest compliment a poet can receive is to have this said to him/her!
Thanks!
Neha

Spirit Of Twilight
Member
since 2002-01-11
Posts 116
India
28 posted 2002-05-22 02:12 AM


quote:
Spirit of Twilight - not only did you expose what would be an accurate account of the human psyche at a time of such a indecision, but you showed so well metaphorically how easily one life could be over by the extinguishing of the candle, or letting it burn and change form into something new. This sends out such a positive image of hope, for there is always hope in "changing form" or looking at something in a different way.  I would love to have seen your first poem - can you send it to me in my email?  Extremely well done, with intent, and you surpassed your goal.

Thank you so much for your positive comments..makes me feel real proud and glad! I am glad you caught the nerve of the poem...and I will send my poem to you.
Neha

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