navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » Test of the Immortal (repost)
Open Poetry #20
Post A Reply Post New Topic Test of the Immortal (repost) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2002-05-18 10:51 PM



Elysium’s daughter sought to gain
Her womanhood in this test
Alone to brave the forest wild
Affirming her as one of the best

Immortal clan of women, cursed
To procreate with mankind
Bound together in passion
Love and hate intertwined

Emboldened by the hunger
She crept closer to the glow
Firelight dancing in the forest
Visions she yearned to know

Smells now reached her nostrils
Combined scent of man and fear
But food was the temptation
That brought her ever near

Creeping silently until
She stood behind a tree
Seeing for the first time
The men of villainy

Her father sat amongst them
Broadsword at his side
Drunk from mugs of whiskey
Meaty hands gesturing wide

“We’ll find the creature, guaranteed
or my head will surely roll
find her ‘fore she breeds again
she’ll lie with man or troll

They talked of her for hours
The hunt was quite in hand
But they did not reckon for
Her knowledge of the land

Soon stentorian snores
Echoed round the fire
She crept closer seeking
Food to quench her desire

Quickly now she moved about
Stealing weapons from their packs
And tossed them in the river
To delay their vengeful attacks

Lifting up a sack of food,
She stood finally her full height
Then boldly walked away
Into the cimmerian night

She hid her cache of food
Then returned to see them awaken
Smiling as they wondered how they
Allowed themselves to be taken

One by one they awoke
Snorting with manly ease
Til one after another found
She could take whatever she pleased

“Damn that immortal!”
cried her father with dismay,
“I rue the day I bed the mother
Now 'tis time for whelp to pay!”

She lingered there no longer
Having seen her father’s shame
Slipping into the forest shelter
Tired of this childish game

Immortal tho she may be born
denial smote her tender soul
so tainted did she feel
she regretted the food she stole

But her clan had demanded
She seek purity in this trial
They sent her naked into the woods
To forage for awhile

She survived upon her wits
Living as creatures of the wild
Gaining strength to carry on
As woman, no longer child.

Thirty days of isolation
Then to the caves she returned
Body shaped by hard living
Bearing scars that she had earned

She greeted her sweet mother
Who could read her mind with ease
Together they accepted that
They lived for themselves to please

The welcoming fire died quietly
And she rose to proclaim her right
“From this day forth, this Immortal
shall be called Elysium’s Night


[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (05-18-2002 10:54 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2002-05-18 11:01 PM


I LOVE IT! What a fun fantasy poem, a modern day maiden's myth.
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2002-05-19 12:14 PM


I am enjoying this series.....You poetically
paint a clear vision of the story...

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
3 posted 2002-05-19 12:47 PM


An absolute gem of a poem, PDV...

One by one they awoke
Snorting with manly ease
Til one after another found
She could take whatever she pleased

and a fine tribute to the stronger gender!

~strong woman hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

MIdsummerRain
Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri
4 posted 2002-05-19 04:13 AM


Your imagery is amazing, Ive never encountered anything like it! I LoVeD It as well!

Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass...
of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what rema

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-05-19 06:30 AM


Into my library....*click* smiling too...ALL!!!  I WANT THEM ALL...don't mess with me, lady, I gave birth to "Renfield.." heheheheh.....
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2002-05-19 07:38 AM


This is a wonderfully, fantastical weave Sharon ... loved the story and the imagery, well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-05-23 02:22 PM


Yep, ah like this.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » Test of the Immortal (repost)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary