navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » Refining a few Lines
Open Poetry #20
Post A Reply Post New Topic Refining a few Lines Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-05-17 07:33 AM



Neon glow beneath starlight Glimmer
flashing light starting far off rolling
that in moments to come give muted rumble
pushing stray clouds to tomorrow’s morning.


Neon light,
Glow and glimmer,
Beneath the soft starlight,
That in open sky now shimmer.

Flashing light,
Starts a rumbling,
Muted far in the night
That takes patient moments to bring.

The clouds stray,
Guide winds pushing,
Remnants of the hot day
Sails off to tomorrow morning.

Gloom
Scribbled in a haste, pausing just a moment
then rewritten.



© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
1 posted 2002-05-17 07:41 AM


Gloom darling boy this is incredible picturesque you’ve written the moment here to be sure. Beautiful writing, absolutely beautiful absolutely beautiful. I wish I could paint the sky with storm the way you have done. Absolutely excellent writing

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

     
  

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2002-05-17 09:50 AM


Thank you, Marsha
For your kind words.

Gloom

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
3 posted 2002-05-17 10:57 AM


Ok, the sun is overrated when it comes to lightning  LOL
cool write

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 2002-05-17 03:59 PM


BRAVO!!!! Well done
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » Refining a few Lines

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary