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Open Poetry #20
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-05-17 03:34 AM


inbetween
the lines of "if"
inbetween
the lines of "are"
inbetween
the lines of "were"
know there stands
the line of "cause"--
trail of blood
that leads to hurt...
inbetween
myself and her.

inbetween
lines stand alone
spaces
I can call my own...
inbetween
these eyes I've bled...
between a life?
a prayer of death.

Amidst myself
inbetween
shadows dancing
in a dream
Amidst myself
I'm inbetween
dark dance shadows
on a screen...

dancing
as a life is freed.
dancing
life in circled greed...

dark dance shadow
on my knees
shadows
dancing dark concede...



© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2002-05-17 05:24 AM


There is nothing "in between" about this piece, it is all excellence.
Kethry

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2002-05-17 05:56 AM


heavy layers
of dark cloth
with pale skin lady
under, lifting edges

enjoyed you  ms

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-05-17 09:28 AM


Amidst myself
inbetween
shadows dancing
in a dream
Amidst myself
I'm inbetween
dark dance shadows
on a screen...

dancing
as a life is freed.
dancing
life in circled greed...

dark dance shadow
on my knees
shadows
dancing dark concede...

==================================

your pen is doing some poetic pirouettes of its own in this melancholy beauty me twin.
(and now ya got "Dancing in the Dark" running thru my head)

How long can a girl be haunted by you ...
Soon I'll grow up and I wont even flinch at your name.

Alanis Morissette

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
4 posted 2002-05-17 09:33 AM


loved the flow of this, Serenity and the words. I often dance amid the shadows too...

~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2002-05-17 04:12 PM


why do I know that you're one with the darkness??

perhaps I will find out. . . well done. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2002-05-17 05:17 PM


inbetween
lines stand alone
spaces
I can call my own...

Love watchin' you dance, K.

Cirrus
Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55

7 posted 2002-05-17 05:27 PM


Hey Gorgeous! remember me?
Loved the flow of this and especially could relate to these lines.....

inbetween
the lines of "if"
inbetween
the lines of "are"
inbetween
the lines of "were"
know there stands
the line of "cause"--
trail of blood
that leads to hurt...
inbetween
myself and her.

Have missed reading you.

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
8 posted 2002-05-17 06:59 PM


Ahhhh, Serenity...very gentle smile..of the inbetween..there is still always you..of goodness be..nice read
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
9 posted 2002-05-17 08:23 PM


Serenity darling girl This is seriously excellent writing, the flow of this is perfect, the internal pace and the construction cannot be bettered. And the form perfect absolutely perfect.

Not a thing in between about this it is utterly utterly excellent

  
Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy


To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
10 posted 2002-05-17 09:08 PM


I sense a warmth of being inbetween.  Very splendid write.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2002-05-18 01:42 AM


Even I like to cast a an occasional shadow...lol...a grim chore, being in light and all that, but hey...

Thanks all so much...sorry I haven't been reading much...been in that "silent writing mode" again...love you all much...THANK YOU for being so kind.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

12 posted 2002-05-18 06:31 PM


This reminds me of the Cure's "Inbetween days," which is compliment enough...

I love yr writing.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2002-05-18 06:56 PM


whoa...and cirrus??? CIRRUS? izzat YOU LUSCIOUS???? stumble blind hugs say it is so!!! aw...c'mere baby....hugs to heart.

and damn Mike, you say the nicest things!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
14 posted 2002-05-18 08:34 PM


Just popped in to say...
I LOVE THIS PIECE!!!
~hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
15 posted 2002-05-18 08:56 PM


This is inbetween superb and superber...
errr, more superb..... or spendiforous///

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
16 posted 2002-05-18 10:14 PM




BRAVO!!! This is absolutely wonderful, sweet friend, those ifs and ares and weres are indeed the conjunctions of all of relationships we endure with others and we must always look more than just in-between each hiatus to fully appreciate liberty of it all! (kiss on cheek) This is excellent, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

MIdsummerRain
Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri
17 posted 2002-05-19 04:18 AM


inbetween
the lines of "if"
inbetween
the lines of "are"
inbetween
the lines of "were"
know there stands
the line of "cause"--
trail of blood
that leads to hurt...
inbetween
myself and her.

~I LoVeD It!!! Im counting on more to come!

Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass...
of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what rema

Cirrus
Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55

18 posted 2002-05-19 09:10 AM


Hey Beautiful, yup it is I! darn I've really missed your lusciousness, gorgeous. Hugs HUgs and HUGS!!!
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