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Open Poetry #20
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bsquirrel
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since 2000-01-03
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0 posted 2002-05-16 11:27 PM



.........waaaaaay back in 7-3-2000, I penned this in reply to one of sen's poems at the Corner Pub. Here's its first proper viewing in an Open forum. I thought I'd dust it off and leave it for what it is -- a pretty good attempt for an angry young man, just to kinda prove to myself that even back when I was a jerk, I was capable of bein' nahss t' people every once an' again ... Not to mention, writin' some killer verse!

Onward!


-Serenity's screen dance-
So,
The trees were leaning into the street,
Clogging the storm drains, sapping concrete.
The thunder fell all about me,
But serenity danced behind her screen.

Lightning made the hot air worse --
At least twelve degrees more unbearable.
I thought my nightmares were bad, of course,
But this storm was unassailable.
And occasionally, when no rhymes were in force,
Made briefly unavailable,
I watched serenity dance behind her screen.

The night fell hotter still,
The moon was like a slivered rill
Of running water turning to dust.
I sweat so freely, I thought I would rust.
I lost so cleanly, I thought I would bust.
I watched so dearly, serenity dancing. In lust?

No.
Tonight, happiness is enough.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-05-16 11:33 PM




WOW!!! Oh Michael, this is wonderful, sweet friend, you always write such wonderfully passionate words, I just know Karenb will love this and may even blush reading it! (big huggssssss) This is fabulous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-05-16 11:39 PM


It's so wonderful to have someone understand.

Yes.

Happiness...IS...enough...


love you yanno...

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-05-16 11:42 PM


Gut. Ich liebe dich auch -- you helped me more in th' past than y' know of. This is th' least ah could do for yeh.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

4 posted 2002-05-17 12:23 PM


Gut. Ich liebe dich auch
Poem rocks but what the heck does that mean?

bsquirrel
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since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-05-17 12:32 PM


It means learn some German. Sorry, couldn't resist!

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2002-05-17 12:35 PM


You want Serenity to learn some German??  Squirrel you're strange!  lol
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-05-17 12:38 PM


Somehow, I saw that comin' ... It means "Good. I love you too." Why I said it in German when I'm actually Polish by descent .... no idea.

Yep, I am strange.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2002-05-17 09:43 AM


The night fell hotter still,
The moon was like a slivered rill
Of running water turning to dust.
I sweat so freely, I thought I would rust.
I lost so cleanly, I thought I would bust.
I watched so dearly, serenity dancing. In lust?

No.
Tonight, happiness is enough.
===========================

Youre not strange...youre a poet
a damn fine one at that...and I am loving this love in!!
Yes...I remember this screen dance well...
we all love when Sen begins to spin...magic happends ...just look at this poem

How long can a girl be haunted by you ...
Soon I'll grow up and I wont even flinch at your name.

Alanis Morissette

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

9 posted 2002-05-17 12:54 PM


Exactly, Butterfly slippers. Exactly.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
10 posted 2002-05-19 11:37 PM


Good contrasts at work here, bsquirrel, love how you phrase your imagery in this, too.

Cor

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

11 posted 2002-05-19 11:39 PM


Thanks, Corinne. Wow, I can't believe this ol' thing just got bumped up. I thank ye.



Mike

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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