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Open Poetry #20
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-05-13 03:49 PM


i. Desert aflame
You were a curtain in my sky.
Abstract fire hung through night.
Your hands were smooth sand waterfalls.
Your fingers combed my curled footfalls.

ii. In the land of giants
I climbed this swamp of sky to be with you today.
Shattered mountain teeth lain across my fool's way.
You sculpted oaken copse out of the fog for me.
It's not a trick of light. You glow so golden bright.

iii. Lake of moon
You sky my black. Still lake of shhh-white moon.
Your curving smile shardly. Sly your bonish curlicue.
You glow in polished burn above the tarry road.
I watch your egress arc traverse where we meet in flow.

iv. Storm wall
The sky, she wears gray ribbons.
Tremble piles through her hair.
The mountain man caused it.
He waits for her despair.

v. Pale water blue
I saw an island in the ocean.
A hole of blue in clouding sky.
The water was yr pale clear eyes.
We found them green among yr sighs.

Hope y' enjoy!


She said burn ... together.
-TON

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-05-13 04:47 PM


Desert aflame
You were a curtain in my sky.
Abstract fire hung through night.
Your hands were smooth sand waterfalls.
Your fingers combed my curled footfalls.

ii. In the land of giants
I climbed this swamp of sky to be with you today.
Shattered mountain teeth lain across my fool's way.
You sculpted oaken copse out of the fog for me.
It's not a trick of light. You glow so golden bright.

iii. Lake of moon
You sky my black. Still lake of shhh-white moon.
Your curving smile shardly. Sly your bonish curlicue.
You glow in polished burn above the tarry road.
I watch your egress arc traverse where we meet in flow.
===================================

enjoy??? oh yeah.......
consider this reply the equal of imagery afterglow!!!
I saw the pictures in the challenge forum...you took the challenge well beyond.
very very cool poet squirrel.

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
2 posted 2002-05-13 04:59 PM


bsquirrel,

    I enjoyed very much These are very good!

Hugs,
Tara

"My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read"
     - Motley Crue, Home Sweet Home

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2002-05-13 05:12 PM


I find your work so gosh darn thought provoking! I just have a great time reading it. I find the images conjured up while reading to be most interesting. I've only got half an idea but that's where I imagine the best!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-05-13 05:15 PM


Thanks everyone, big time.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
5 posted 2002-05-13 05:28 PM


bsquirrel~

I find this more then impressing.....it is an outstanding job to the challenge, I love each one...thank you for taking tme to reply to the challenge.....


Lauren~

NOW EVERYONE GO TRY ONE OR TWO..POSTED IN THE POETRY CHALLENGE FORUM....HAVE FUN

I would rather have one breath of his hair,
one kiss of his mouth,
one touch of his hand
than an eternity without it.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2002-05-13 08:47 PM


bsquirrel! This is intimidating..how can the rest of us compete? Excellent job...
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2002-05-13 09:22 PM


A sigh to Mr Wonderful poet.  You are good!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-05-13 09:33 PM


have to agree...I'm completely intimidated from this challenge now...You see complete stories, where I see mere detail! tsk...giving me a crisis of confidence here, Mike...and? I don't think I can "study" YOU--smile...it's a poetic mindset you've got going on. Yep. Quote me on that. You've got it goin' on babe!
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2002-05-14 12:22 PM


iv. Storm wall
The sky, she wears gray ribbons.
Tremble piles through her hair.
The mountain man caused it.
He waits for her despair.

Each view was magnificent,
but this one I could see clearly through.
Love the way you draw your
words and paint them so beautifully.

Liked your title too....

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

10 posted 2002-05-14 12:47 PM


Thanks everyone. Glad you liked my response to the challenge, Lauren. And S'en, I just does what's I does.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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