navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » When An Old Man Dies (Challenge Poem)
Open Poetry #20
Post A Reply Post New Topic When An Old Man Dies (Challenge Poem) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2002-05-08 06:55 PM


An old man dies when time is past
when burdens are great to the last
when lives known have all said farewell
when memory’s lost, nothing to tell

An old man passes from life’s page
no longer standing on the stage
Taking with, part of history
Leaving behind, life’s great mystery

The withered hands of countless shakes
of garden hoes, hatchets and rakes
Too many miles tilling a row
Dying now slow, letting it go

Eyes that show the brilliance of youth
from wagons to lemonade booth
Girls at the dance, the promenade
trying times, wishing he had stayed

The drive of youth and passion fires
lost to age, as the flame expires
Weary, worn, lost vitality
Time to go, set the stallion free.

Lips still soft, wishing one last kiss
Dreams that wander, moments of bliss
hearing the children's laughs and cries
Old man’s vision, lost when he dies.

© Copyright 2002 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2002-05-08 07:02 PM


The drive of youth and passion fires
lost to age, as the flame expires
Weary, worn, lost vitality
Time to go, set the stallion free.

Lips still soft, wishing one last kiss
Dreams that wander, moments of bliss
hearing the children's laughs and cries
Old man’s vision, lost when he dies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barry! Barry! Barry!
Now THIS is one of the best things I have seen you do!!  
Wonderful write, and challenge well met!
~hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

2 posted 2002-05-08 07:19 PM


really good stuff here, magnus. bravo.
-Dave

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-05-08 07:36 PM




(big huggssssssss) oh Barry, this is soooooo passionate and powerful, sweet friend, when that time comes around he does passa way, but in his spirit it will always live on with the laughter and beauty of youth and happiness! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barry, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
4 posted 2002-05-08 08:20 PM


Magnus darling boy as always you write with such skill and this is excellent writing from you. Exquisite flow and the rhyme are utterly utterly spectacular. No one manages to write like this and this darling heart is utterly utterly superb truly one of your best and yes you’ve taken the challenge and surpassed it Utterly utterly perfect
[center]
Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy




To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

[This message has been edited by Marsha (05-08-2002 08:20 PM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2002-05-08 08:22 PM



quote:
The drive of youth and passion fires
lost to age, as the flame expires
Weary, worn, lost vitality
Time to go, set the stallion free.

Perfect!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
6 posted 2002-05-08 08:49 PM


Immortal!
Well done my friend. ThisDiamond
I am going to try

2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
7 posted 2002-05-11 08:58 AM


...Leaving behind, life’s great mystery...
Dying now slow, letting it go...


Another challenge well met. The finale page...

Great read. Thanks,
Melton

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
8 posted 2002-05-11 09:34 AM


Excellent write, Magnus, enjoyed reading...

~Tier

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2002-05-15 03:28 AM


Wow Barry! This one gets the boot

up onto the front page again

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
10 posted 2002-05-15 06:20 AM


Well now, this is very well done!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2002-05-15 10:27 AM


Barry

Wonderfully written!

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » When An Old Man Dies (Challenge Poem)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary