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Open Poetry #20
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Nightshade
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0 posted 2002-05-06 03:59 PM





Our favourite table for two
had been moved,
setting me on early edge.
Your chair wobbled as you sat
making too obvious
your imbalance.
The rolls were as stale
as our forced conversation.
When I asked you for water
to quench my thirst,
You lifted the sweating pitcher
to reveal
a bold wine stain,
ruining
the once spotless tablecloth.
As obvious as the scarlett smear
of infidelity
you thought my adoration
would overlook.
Awkwardly you knocked
over my goblet.
But, it had already
been drained.
Not only were you inept
at having a
discreet affair,
You were also uneducated
in erasing
moral blemishes.
So much for dessert....
Check please!!!

                                        Chris B.
                                         March 2002


© Copyright 2002 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
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1 posted 2002-05-06 04:06 PM


The title makes me think of Paradise Lost, and then the poem is smart and funny even when it's sad. I really enjoyed this. Keep the change.
Nightshade
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2 posted 2002-05-06 04:11 PM


bsquirrel - funny you should say that..Paradise Lost....I was thinking the same thing when I wrote this. How quickly our "paradise" can be lost amongst the crumbs under the table. Thanks

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Bill Charles
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highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2002-05-06 04:19 PM


Chris - very potent write. Telling it like it is... Very well done my friend...

BC

Bill Charles
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4 posted 2002-05-06 04:22 PM


Chris - very potent write, and to the point. Well done my friend...

BC

Nightshade
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5 posted 2002-05-06 04:55 PM


Bill - thankyou so much..twice?! lol.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Mistletoe Angel
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6 posted 2002-05-06 05:04 PM




(sigh) Oh Chris, this is wonderfully bittersweet, sweet friend, I just love the way you write of true life experiences so well, the transitions of this piece are incredible, as though the appetizer is nervousness then the main course is a shock then the dessert is contaminated with grief! (big hugggssssss) I love this, sweet friend, this is excellent, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Chris, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Nightshade
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7 posted 2002-05-06 05:15 PM


Oh, sweet Noah, I can always count on you to make me smile. Thankyou.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

wandering glider
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aloft
8 posted 2002-05-06 05:35 PM


Pass the afterdinner mints . . . the real strong ones!
Nicely woven.

       \\
~=====}:
       //

Magnus
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9 posted 2002-05-06 05:40 PM


Chris....one word....WWWWWOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!

This is strong...excellent...

Nightshade
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10 posted 2002-05-06 06:03 PM


wandering-I might have an Altoid or two. lol. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Magnus - thankyou kind poet for liking this.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Janet Marie
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11 posted 2002-05-06 07:13 PM


As obvious as the scarlett smear
of infidelity
you thought my adoration
would overlook.
===============================

quite a impactuous image and metaphor...
made a lasting impression...
you cleverly worked this theme to the bitter end...
well done poetess Chris!

... and I don't know why ...
Why should love come down and just sweep me away
I want to fly ... but there are so many things in my way.

J Browne

Nightshade
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12 posted 2002-05-06 07:31 PM


Janet Marie - your comments are very much appreciated - thankyou.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Enchantress
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Canada eh.
13 posted 2002-05-06 07:38 PM


As obvious as the scarlett smear
of infidelity
you thought my adoration
would overlook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whoa Chris!  So glad I decided to pop into Passions tonight!  
This is one cool write little sister!  
I love it!  Keep'em comin'!
Hugs and love ya, Teed.  

Nightshade
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14 posted 2002-05-06 07:41 PM


NancyLee - there you are!! I have been missing you ever since I returned from our too short of visit. Thankyou for reading and commenting. luv ya!! Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Martie
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15 posted 2002-05-06 07:45 PM


Ouch...this hurts, but I feel strength in your words..that's a good thing.  Enjoyed!
Greeneyes
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16 posted 2002-05-06 07:50 PM


Chris~


Very, Very Powerful.....I enjoyed much....be well...HUGSSSS
Lauren~

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
Could I have been anyone other than me
True poems rest between the words
Give hope a chance to float, it will

Nightshade
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17 posted 2002-05-06 07:55 PM


Thanks Martie - Did ya ever get the feeling you could just dump the whole darn dining table onto someones lap....lol....just kidding!!!

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Victoria
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18 posted 2002-05-06 07:58 PM


Check please is right..loved it Chris..hugs..nicely penned..

                ~Victoria

              

Nightshade
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19 posted 2002-05-06 07:58 PM


Lauren - oops, didn't see you pop in there! Thankyou so much.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Nightshade
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20 posted 2002-05-06 08:01 PM


Victoria - thankyou so much for commenting.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

rwood
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21 posted 2002-05-06 09:07 PM


Oh girl...You are it here. This verse says more than I could possibly say..Just know that I had that same meal at that same table once..It was lousy then and I wasn't near as graceful as your words.. HUGS..for this one.

Sincerely,
Reg

Nightshade
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22 posted 2002-05-06 09:22 PM


rwood - having you comment on my small offering means more to me than you know. Thankyou.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

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