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Open Poetry #20
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2002-05-04 02:31 AM



The bed is cool, crisp
sheets fresh from the line
soft beaten
on a windy day
they flow over me
but hold no rest
it’s a story I need
tonight

Lie here beside me
let me close my eyes
to the sound of your voice
tell me a story
be it truth, be it lie
let me fall asleep
wrapped in your words
as a child
soothed by lullaby
slumbers heavily
without care
to waking

tell me a story
let me sleep
in your voice


© Copyright 2002 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-05-04 02:37 AM


This...is as good at it gets...written as clean as fresh laundry, and all the comfort of a tuck in bed.

total purity here, dunc.

I'm as hushed as starched sheets.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-05-04 03:57 AM


all the comfort of a tuck in bed.

Good choice of line, K.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-05-04 06:54 AM


Lie here beside me
let me close my eyes
to the sound of your voice
tell me a story
be it truth, be it lie
let me fall asleep
wrapped in your words
============================
let me sleep
in your voice
============================

one of your poetic gifts is the way you capture a thought, or a moment, in its simplest, most honest form and then you gently "complicate" it with your longing and vulnerablity. I've said this before ... you wear your heart on your sleeve with class.
jm
=============================

... and I don't know why ...
Why should love come down and just sweep me away
I want to fly ... but there are so many things in my way.

J Browne

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2002-05-04 08:23 AM



What a lullabye!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2002-05-04 08:37 AM


As soft and gentle as a lullabye Duncan.
Enjoyed this one.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
6 posted 2002-05-04 10:49 AM


Duncan,  this is beautiful...Reminds me of
days when I read stories to my daughter
Ashley...So peaceful and pleasurable...
watching those little eyes close...the sleep
of complete trust and safety,  in my arms..

Thank You for this one..

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2002-05-04 11:04 AM


yes, it's that soothing that leads to peaceful sleep, add barely there fingertips that caress cares away, and you have some sweet dreams Loved this one Cowboy
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2002-05-04 06:31 PM


Beautiful.

This is something I would like. Sigh.

K

Raz
Member
since 2002-04-30
Posts 51
Quebec, Canada
9 posted 2002-05-04 07:13 PM


I do like very much. Very nice flow, very nice sounds. Very very very. Good poem. Thanks for the read.

-Raz

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
10 posted 2002-05-04 07:19 PM


tell me a story
let me sleep
in your voice

I love this Duncan. lovely. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
11 posted 2002-05-04 07:56 PM


I like this!
Sweet dreams...

Deb

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
12 posted 2002-05-04 08:55 PM


Ok, I will...but if you touch me I'll slap you silly!!


excellent writing, good sir..a feel like a pair of fuzzy warm slippers

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2002-05-04 09:04 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is sooooo sweet, dearest friend, may your love forever set you to sleep in lullabye and bring joy to your heart forever! (big hugggsssss) This is breathtaking, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
14 posted 2002-05-04 09:39 PM


Duncan, this is so strange,how someone's poem can bring such strong memories, but here goes, might as well share them. I was once with a man who would tell me stories while I fell asleep, as I have always been a wicked insomniac. It was SO wonderful and loving.
This really hit a soft spot in me.
Sandra

[This message has been edited by catalinamoon (05-04-2002 10:22 PM).]

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
15 posted 2002-05-05 01:45 AM


Duncan,
I don't know what has gotten into you lately...but you are just on a roll that won't stop. Wow, this poem holds so much sentimental value both of my parents and as a parent. A keeper indeed! Thanks for writing this fabulous poem.

It's never too late to have a good childhood! Woohoo!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
16 posted 2002-05-05 02:25 AM


Please come and tuck me in. This is so tender. Duncan, you are amazing.
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
17 posted 2002-05-05 03:49 PM


"Tell me a story
let me sleep
in your voice."

What a line that is!
This is excellent, Duncan.

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
18 posted 2002-05-05 04:50 PM


   ...you forgot to kiss me goodnight!
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
19 posted 2002-05-05 05:37 PM



Oh my gosh, whatever woman you'll share your life with, is going to be a very lucky lady.

May I use your Muse for a while?

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale
20 posted 2002-05-05 11:30 PM


Duncan,

As much as I enjoyed your last poem, THIS is
truly your style.  Very nicely done....
Makes a girl long for such a thing.

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