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Open Poetry #20
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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-05-02 06:39 PM


I thought I'd remove some of your time with three old poems. Old poems meaning that they were written at the start of this year. Here's the first.

-Into the Blue-
We drown on the shoreline.
Her hair in tendrils wet and snaking.
My hand is shaking,
to push the sun beneath my nails.

A wet violet face submerged
below the tide's tumble and turn.
Tumble and turn,
copper light in shade upon her eyes.

And the salty dark swallows
words and will.
Two diamond drops, a gentle glow
in something corkscrew slow.

Into weeds.
Float into sleep.

Her bones are something graceful
in the arms of something old.
Sinking into peace
in the arms of something new.

Our keepsake names are offered up in trust
to something borrowed.
The end of sunlight and its birth
begin in something blue.

settle.
settle to the floor.

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2002-05-02 06:45 PM


Her bones are something graceful
in the arms of something old.
Sinking into peace
in the arms of something new.

Very cool write.  Love the last lines also.

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2002-05-02 08:12 PM


"Tumble and turn,
copper light in shade upon her eyes. "

yep, cool

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-05-02 08:42 PM




BRAVO!!! Yes, yes, this is a very wonderful write, sweet friend, and through the blue may one always find peace in the arms of something new and be comforted with loves blithe whispers! (big hugggsssss) This is uperb, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet ichael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
4 posted 2002-05-02 10:21 PM


Excellent. You have a way with words! ThisDiamond
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-05-03 02:11 PM


Not bad for a poem about drowning, eh? The part I like is the something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. It just clicked (though I'm not exactly sure what my poem has to do with marriage, if anything).
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