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Open Poetry #20
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Inenarrable
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Inenarrable |
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Raz Member
since 2002-04-30
Posts 51Quebec, Canada |
Inenarrable Arm under pillow to prop up my head to read a book. Held at a certain distance the edges blur and I find myself instanced in others, seen from the outside looking in. There is room enough between one word …an irregular heartbeat in the soles of the feet, the inability to speak anything but cliché; symptomatic of a long-term maladie du coeur... …lovers whose arms twist easily behind their backs, cut-out dolls on a Möbius strip begging to be held together… …whose jaws crack when they smile, who won’t kiss unless their lips are bloody – blank sheets of paper ready to be pressed into more pleasing forms… …pages meeting and turning like phases of the moon, a familiar face looked for nightly, from new to fingernail waxing to half, gibbous to full, waning… and the next to loop around the sun, travel from here to heaven, between bellybutton and sex. The distance where, if printed on a lover’s face, words would focus and secrets dissipate on sleeper’s breath. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Raz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Held at a certain distance the edges blur and I find myself instanced in others, seen from the outside looking in. There is room enough between one word ============================== who wont kiss unless their lips are bloody blank sheets of paper ready to be pressed into more pleasing forms pages meeting and turning like phases of the moon, a familiar face looked for nightly, from new to fingernail waxing to half, gibbous to full, waning and the next to loop around the sun, travel from here to heaven, between bellybutton and sex. The distance where, if printed on a lover's face, words would focus and secrets dissipate on sleeper's breath. ================================ You have some very impressive lines and striking images in this...very unique and vivid. I especially enjoyed the theme, metaphor and analogies to reading, book pages and writing used to define the emotions. Also impressive is your vocabulary. You write with an intelligent and creative style. Welcome to Poetry Land Raz...I look forward to reading more of your work. SO nice to have you here with us. jm ... and I don't know why ... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Raz, Although common symboles are hard to come by you did well. Enjoyed the read. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
a nice surprise on an otherwise dreary morning (i mean, the sun is out, it's beautiful... but i'm stuck behind a desk in the aftermath of an insomniac's mantra, but hey) anyway, back to you  this had several excellent lines, my favorite being quote:which is ironic, since it's really a rather simple line. but reading that gave me the impression of vast difference between words, a thing which has defined a good portion of my life. the one criticism i have (and it's minor) is your word choice for title. it is apt (though not necessarily so, as i thought you related this QUITE well) but a bit 'over-the-top'. i love obscure words, but i think in context this is outside... not fitting with the rest...  in all, this was exactly what i needed to get on with my day. thanks Chris |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Hello Raz, interesting use of metaphors and vivid language too..an uncommon assortment of words arranged playfully. Welcome to Passions... there is variety here, enjoy the writes and continue contributing |
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