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Open Poetry #20
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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-04-30 01:29 PM



The sky is usually full of faces,
planes and their contrail scrapings.
Now it's just one mad blue eye
staring down, staring on.

I sit in the black seam of the street,
the juncture of travel where it meets need.
I finger what I only have
and wish we were all gone.

What ends -- a justifying here.
The sky seems drained but not quite clear,
but not quite light and rain and sun.
That blue eye runs me through its stare.

The sun, she pins me down and bakes.
That snow, she never fails to flake.
She stays as far away as that.
She stays as far away as then.

And we sit by the fire
and watch snow on black fabric melt.
We sit by the fire
and watch the woods consumed.
We sit by the fire
and watch the window panes crack up.
We sit by the fire
and watch the fire leave you.

And she stays as far away as that.
And she stays as far away as then.
And she stays as far away as so.
And she stays as far away as no.

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-04-30 01:50 PM



That last stanza is a killer....

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
2 posted 2002-04-30 01:52 PM


Pretty final, huh?  I agree with Sunshine, the last stanza hurts.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-04-30 05:28 PM


Thanks for reading.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2002-05-01 12:37 PM


Now it's just one mad blue eye
staring down, staring on.
================================
I finger what I only have
and wish we were all gone.

What ends -- a justifying here.
The sky seems drained but not quite clear,
but not quite light and rain and sun.
That blue eye runs me through its stare.

The sun, she pins me down and bakes.
That snow, she never fails to flake.
She stays as far away as that.
She stays as far away as then.
====================================
And she stays as far away as that.
And she stays as far away as then.
And she stays as far away as so.
And she stays as far away as no.
===================================


gawd this just went thru me...for reasons Im not even sure of yet....
Mike your blowing me away with every write...
this reads like the kind of song ya hear on an old FM station late at night and it stirs up things that makes ya just wanna get in your car and drive....listening to that same song over and over........

poet or songwriter...either way...you rock

... and I don't know why ...
Why should love come down and just sweep me away
I want to fly ... but there are so many things in my way.

J Browne

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-05-01 11:07 AM


Hey Mike...I loved the almost maddening clarity of the one blue eye imagery. The last stanza rises like crescendo too. But I understand her...I don't think she means any harm. I think she just curls up, into herself, running in silent mode...
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-05-01 12:47 PM


Glad you both liked it. Don't worry -- there's plenty of truth in this story, but it was a long, long time ago. She just makes good poetry fodder every now and again.
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