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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-04-26 02:13 PM

The moon is but a borrowed light
burning in black tar.
A word is but a borrowed sound
muted, still and far.
Verse is but a borrowed sword
shining through its dust.
A borrowed girl, she burrowed in
and tasted roots of rust.

The sun is but a borrowed eye
burning in its blindness.
A song is but a borrowed cry
coy of its own kindness.
A pen is but a borrowed rod
spilling lines of light.
A borrowed girl, she burrowed in
and turned snow into night.

A borrowed girl, she burrowed in,
shining among others.
A borrowed girl, she burrowed in --
sweetly how she smothers.
Ring is but a borrowed thing
hanging on its spin.
This borrowed girl, she's candy flame.
We're melted words of tin.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2002-04-26 02:32 PM

Dang Michael!! This is SO good!
I'm not even going to try to pick my favourite lines or stanzas...
although by the closing stanza I was smiling broadly.
Wonderful write my friend.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

2 posted 2002-04-26 03:11 PM

I must stand and applaud
with Enchantress - wouldn't
we all like to be borrowed
now and then...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-04-26 03:18 PM

This borrowed girl, she's candy flame.

CANDY FLAME? Hell yes!!! Candy flame...
you ever stumble across some words that JUST RESONATE????

(of course you do.

)

Um, mind if I borrow this?

I could ramble on too...I was just thinking about words, and how they are truly inadequate symbols of emotion. You just proved me wrong.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-04-26 03:23 PM

Thanks everyone. And S'en -- I can't stop smiling.

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

5 posted 2002-04-26 05:48 PM

what a way to go on borrowed time!well composed

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

6 posted 2002-04-26 05:57 PM

You keep writing like this and we are gonna
change your name to something closer to the
brilliance of this poem....

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-04-26 06:26 PM

The moon is but a borrowed light
burning in black tar.
A word is but a borrowed sound
muted, still and far.
Verse is but a borrowed sword
shining through its dust.
A borrowed girl, she burrowed in
and tasted roots of rust.

The sun is but a borrowed eye
burning in its blindness.
A song is but a borrowed cry
coy of its own kindness.
A pen is but a borrowed rod
spilling lines of light.
A borrowed girl, she burrowed in
and turned snow into night.
===================================

A word is but a word ...
till a poet takes pen in hand.
A verse is but a verse ...
till it resonates in rhymed understand.

(sorry, couldnt resist)

You outta be smiling...this rocks...you've been turning out some very very cool stuff Mike.
You get lots of candy buttons for this one.
(well you get 5 anyway..cuz thats the limit now) LOL

... and I don't know why ...
Why should love come down and just sweep me away
I want to fly ... but there are so many things in my way.

J Browne

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-04-26 06:38 PM

Thanks to all. And thanks to you, Butterfly Slippers (memory rush!), for the candy.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

9 posted 2002-04-26 07:14 PM

A pen is but a borrowed rod
spilling lines of light.

Interesting concepts in this piece. lmao at JM above...

Like a red brick,
in a white wall
somebodies brush
forgot to paint...
lonely....(as sung by Tracy Lawrence..)

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

10 posted 2002-04-26 07:15 PM

I like this alot....it sings!

texasrose
Member

since 2001-10-24

Posts 146

11 posted 2002-04-26 08:26 PM

was it borrowed or burrowed? singing repeated word lines. It was a pleasure to read your lines.

[This message has been edited by texasrose (04-26-2002 08:28 PM).]

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

12 posted 2002-04-26 08:30 PM

bsquirrel~

this is just great....a wonderful use of meanings...NICE sir~

Lauren~

~Sinking fast into
an ocean of you,
what if I told you,
what if I said
that I love you
do we dare cross
that line between your
heart and mine~

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

13 posted 2002-04-26 08:49 PM

Writing a poem like that is a great way to start the weekend. Thanks all.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

14 posted 2002-04-27 12:27 PM

Mike, your poetry always made me stop and think, and this one, well it is just full of lines I wish I wrote...it's very inspiring and really, it's fantastic....

You rock.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

15 posted 2002-04-27 06:55 AM

Like this...James

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

16 posted 2002-04-27 07:03 AM

BRAVO!!!!

You deserve all the above praising with this one, very well penned, great write

~HUGS~
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

17 posted 2002-04-27 02:19 PM

Aw shucks. Thanks everyone!

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