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Open Poetry #20
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serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-04-23 01:23 AM


There is a lesser lesson learned--
secondary gods to hear.
There is a method of concern--
as madness charts his way to here.


There are advisors in my mind,
murmering a poison's chant.
Ghosts of all I've left behind;
and every deed I've done--recant.


I do not understand such guilt--
transforming dust into silk silt.
I do not understand myself--
transforming heaven into hell.


Voices chanting words unspeak
as the gods demand the floor...
I feel the bleed internally
and curse them as I beg for more...

[This message has been edited by serenity (04-23-2002 02:29 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
1 posted 2002-04-23 01:41 AM


serenity,
SO you aren't giving in to them! Woohoo!! Excellent write.

It's never too late to have a good childhood! Woohoo!

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-04-23 01:41 AM


I do not understand such guilt--
transforming dust into silk silt.
I do not understand myself--
transforming heaven into hell.

The title said it all.  This...was an unexpected, almost pleasant surprise.  (Against my will, I'm being introspective tonight...mind if I include this in my book report?)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-04-23 05:17 AM


smiling..Lar? give in? erg....heh heh..well, okay!   but only cause yer cute!

and Dunc? sure, you can use it in your book report, um, would you like ME to show up as exhibit 'A'? ROFLMAO and not quite sure why...

You guys are adorable. Thank you.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2002-04-23 12:37 PM


Ghosts of all I've left behind;
and every deed I've done--recant.
I do not understand such guilt--
transforming dust into silk silt.
I do not understand myself--
transforming heaven into hell.

Voices chanting words unspeak
as the gods demand the floor...
I feel the bleed internally
and curse them as I beg for more...


====================================


Your use of metaphor, theme, and imagery
never cease to impress...your emote and expression, the depth of it, never cease to touch...your rhymes sate me craving for meter...
and this...this was POEtry in motion, in classic SEN style.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-04-23 01:57 PM


Very wise and sad, and yet, almost celebratory at the same time. Like you. Take care.
Silver Streak
Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625
FL, USA
6 posted 2002-04-23 04:13 PM


Wonderfully penned serenity. I applaud you.

((serenity))
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2002-04-23 04:30 PM


quote:
I do not understand myself--

then, we're the same. . .

love this one. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-04-23 06:40 PM


Jan, Mike, SS, and Sven,

Thanks for the encouragement as always. And Jan, wincing a bit, I do hope "classic sen style" doesn't mean REHASH---I know, I know, I'm ultasensitive today, lol, it's the hormones I tell ya!

Thanks all!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2002-04-23 07:56 PM


AHEM .... NO WINCING ALLOWED ...
let me offer you some clarity.....

Webster Defines "classic" as:
a work of enduring excellence,
serving as a standard of excellence : of recognized value,
something that retains or increases in value over time: remains in fashion year after year



SO...thats what I mean when I say Classic....
AND? Classic Sen means like a fine wine..the writing just gets better with time.

Now...I can pinch ya if ya still want to wince


DONT DOUBT ME BABY...OR YOUR POETRY.

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

10 posted 2002-04-23 07:58 PM


So, pray tell, what are you hearing from the "primary gods" ?  Hmmm?
Ya, I hear this murmuring too.  It's called insomnia.  And if it's gods doin' it, lesser or not, I've had it.  I'm toast!
Do I have one more person to blame now???
Shall I chant this back at them?
I'm a little cranky today too.  So what!!

                

Ok, I liked the poem!

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
11 posted 2002-04-23 08:16 PM


serenity - excellent write, as they all are...

BC

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2002-04-23 08:21 PM


You write so well, you know..from deep and true I see you.  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2002-04-23 09:24 PM


Jan...my BABY!!! A crushing and most unserene bear hug for you...and yes, you CAN pinch me, but only if you kiss me first!!!

E--yer a nut, and I am glad to see I am not alone in my curmudgeon mood..heh heh..thank you much m'friend!

BC...you are such a lovely gentlemen, thank you for reading!

Martie..you touch my heart. (check yer e mail, *wink*)

And I don't often explain, but the secondary gods I write of in this particular case, are those annoying voices that tend to plague ME...the ones that tell me how awful I am. Some people refer to them as demons. I like to refer to them optimistically as "secondary gods"....

So thanks all...and? I think I'm gonna go out for awhile...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2002-04-23 10:35 PM










Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
15 posted 2002-04-23 10:47 PM


Karen,
You write at times so deep...
But the way you explain it...
I understand oh so well!
At times, I understand...exactly,
for I feel or think the same way.
Excellent.
~Hugs~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
16 posted 2002-04-23 11:26 PM




(sigh) Wow, I believe I can understood what you mean here, sweet friend, there are indeed many thoughts that are so very inconceivable and because they are mysterious to us they are like our own gods, which we must devote ourselves to to seek their praise! (kiss on cheek) This is excellent, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
17 posted 2002-04-28 03:26 AM


saw this one a few days ago and didn't have time to reply - first: A+ on the title - BEAUTIFUL. Second, very good use (as JM mentioned) use of metaphors. I liked theme running through as a doubled path. interpretation wide open, and hard hitting. very nice midi-k, very nice.

C

Don't Dream It.
Be It.
-Frank N. Furter

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

18 posted 2002-04-28 11:00 AM


Clap-Clap-Clap.. applauding your words that are wonderful. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

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