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secondary gods
| Open Poetry #20 |
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secondary gods |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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secondary gods to hear. There is a method of concern-- as madness charts his way to here. murmering a poison's chant. Ghosts of all I've left behind; and every deed I've done--recant. transforming dust into silk silt. I do not understand myself-- transforming heaven into hell. as the gods demand the floor... I feel the bleed internally and curse them as I beg for more... [This message has been edited by serenity (04-23-2002 02:29 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
serenity, SO you aren't giving in to them! Woohoo!! Excellent write.  It's never too late to have a good childhood! Woohoo! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I do not understand such guilt-- transforming dust into silk silt. I do not understand myself-- transforming heaven into hell. The title said it all. This...was an unexpected, almost pleasant surprise. (Against my will, I'm being introspective tonight...mind if I include this in my book report?) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling..Lar? give in? erg....heh heh..well, okay!  but only cause yer cute!and Dunc? sure, you can use it in your book report, um, would you like ME to show up as exhibit 'A'? ROFLMAO and not quite sure why... You guys are adorable. Thank you. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Ghosts of all I've left behind; and every deed I've done--recant. I do not understand such guilt-- transforming dust into silk silt. I do not understand myself-- transforming heaven into hell. Voices chanting words unspeak as the gods demand the floor... I feel the bleed internally and curse them as I beg for more... ==================================== Your use of metaphor, theme, and imagery never cease to impress...your emote and expression, the depth of it, never cease to touch...your rhymes sate me craving for meter... and this...this was POEtry in motion, in classic SEN style.  |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Very wise and sad, and yet, almost celebratory at the same time. Like you. Take care. |
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
Wonderfully penned serenity. I applaud you. ((serenity)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
quote: then, we're the same. . . love this one. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Jan, Mike, SS, and Sven, Thanks for the encouragement as always. And Jan, wincing a bit, I do hope "classic sen style" doesn't mean REHASH---I know, I know, I'm ultasensitive today, lol, it's the hormones I tell ya! Thanks all! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
AHEM .... NO WINCING ALLOWED ... let me offer you some clarity..... Webster Defines "classic" as: a work of enduring excellence, serving as a standard of excellence : of recognized value, something that retains or increases in value over time: remains in fashion year after year SO...thats what I mean when I say Classic.... AND? Classic Sen means like a fine wine..the writing just gets better with time. Now...I can pinch ya if ya still want to wince  DONT DOUBT ME BABY...OR YOUR POETRY. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
So, pray tell, what are you hearing from the "primary gods" ? Hmmm? Ya, I hear this murmuring too. It's called insomnia. And if it's gods doin' it, lesser or not, I've had it. I'm toast! Do I have one more person to blame now??? Shall I chant this back at them? I'm a little cranky today too. So what!!    Ok, I liked the poem! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
serenity - excellent write, as they all are... BC |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
You write so well, you know..from deep and true I see you. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Jan...my BABY!!! A crushing and most unserene bear hug for you...and yes, you CAN pinch me, but only if you kiss me first!!! E--yer a nut, and I am glad to see I am not alone in my curmudgeon mood..heh heh..thank you much m'friend! BC...you are such a lovely gentlemen, thank you for reading! Martie..you touch my heart. (check yer e mail, *wink*) And I don't often explain, but the secondary gods I write of in this particular case, are those annoying voices that tend to plague ME...the ones that tell me how awful I am. Some people refer to them as demons. I like to refer to them optimistically as "secondary gods".... So thanks all...and? I think I'm gonna go out for awhile... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Karen, You write at times so deep... But the way you explain it... I understand oh so well! At times, I understand...exactly, for I feel or think the same way. Excellent. ~Hugs~ |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Wow, I believe I can understood what you mean here, sweet friend, there are indeed many thoughts that are so very inconceivable and because they are mysterious to us they are like our own gods, which we must devote ourselves to to seek their praise! (kiss on cheek) This is excellent, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
saw this one a few days ago and didn't have time to reply - first: A+ on the title - BEAUTIFUL. Second, very good use (as JM mentioned) use of metaphors. I liked theme running through as a doubled path. interpretation wide open, and hard hitting. very nice midi-k, very nice. C Don't Dream It. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Clap-Clap-Clap.. applauding your words that are wonderful. floria Floria |
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