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Open Poetry #20
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Love unmaking
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Love unmaking |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Nimble like a good lost thing. Back and forth on thimble wings. Injured angel baby doll. Love the way you make me all. Rain in silver bells and nets. Covers us in blue forgets. Wiry roses burning red. Twining round your heart and head. Notes are taken, take these things. Slowly nibble mumbled stings. Slowly ribs and legs and rings. Slowly music collapsings. Love unmaking shaking call. Love the face the shaping fall. |
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| © Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike, this gave me shivers....really good ones  I like this very much, gonna keep it too! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"Slowly ribs and legs and rings. Slowly music collapsings." Unusual rhyme and meter here, and it works wonderfully. Nothing trite about you, Mike! I would call this whimsical, and yet, it's deep. Again, (grinning here) sorta like YOU. I'm damned glad you're back! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
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elfin_tigress Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101Someplace |
This is one of the few poems I have ever come across that has left me speechless. Very well done! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike...you got something good, your words! |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Back and forth on thimble wings. Injured angel baby doll. Love the way you make me all. Sweet imagery here, Mr.Squirrel, I know there must be a deeper meaning...but I don't think I'm smart enough to figure it out. Please enlighten me...  ~hugs and acorns forever!Lyra |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Mike...this is great! Wonderful thoughts and images. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Mike darling boy this is so amazing, a simply stunning example of your craft, I think it’s beautiful, the flow simply exquisite and the content is utterly utterly fabulous. The passion simply flows right through this delight. Utterly utterly spectacular truly awesome writing skills here, absolutely excellent I love this   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
I have to admit to reading it twice and got a different meaning out of each time. It is alluring, sad, compelling and sensual. I liked. [This message has been edited by Gemini (05-17-2002 09:26 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I confess I'm not clever enough to pull the right meaning out of this but the rhyme and cadence is so smooth I enjoy it anyway!  |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
The sleeplessness of a good dream... Well done. ThisDiamond |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very cool writing. Sandra |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Wow ... who do i have to thank for dislodging this one from the archive? Appreciate all yr responses very much.She said burn ... together. -TON [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (05-18-2002 02:56 PM).] |
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