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Open Poetry #20
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Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA

0 posted 2002-04-18 12:51 PM


When he Thinned the Air


It was you who allowed
her air to Thin
Perhaps, and even at her age,
might a woman stay confusingly young
still wanting to be...a poet, a woman...

loved...


you said to her,

he’s boxed you
and you fight the POW containment
his memories are ghosts
they are not yours
step away from
the box



is it so wrong for her to want acceptance [see box]
when she knows
IF she can touch one by word alone [see box]
and not confuse them/him so much [see box]
that because they don't understand {at first}
that they dismiss what gifts are there
as so much drivel [see lots of boxes].


it was the rose you offered
in petals of words,
that unfolded slowly,
beautifully,
perhaps for her first time,

she found herself in the slow blossom,

your gifts having allowed this...

your words alone

raining life.


© Copyright 2002 Soleil Noir - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2002-04-18 12:57 PM


SoleilNoir~

'it was the rose you offered
in petals of words,
that unfolded slowly,
beautifully,
perhaps for her first time,

she found herself in the slow blossom,

your gifts having allowed this...

your words alone

raining life.'


This is a poignantly lovely piece of writing~
*applause*
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
2 posted 2002-04-18 12:59 PM


Stunning words, you have placed here....


Lauren~

Step through the
barrier of my mind,
enter my soul,
feel my desire,
let my eyes guide you
into the shadows of my heart

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2002-04-18 01:10 PM


can see her
steping from the shadows
wearing his eyes as her gown

lovely  words enjoyed them much

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
4 posted 2002-04-18 02:06 PM


Perhaps, and even at her age,
might a woman stay confusingly young
still wanting to be...a poet, a woman...

Wow !! Love this !!  Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2002-04-18 02:06 PM


it was the rose you offered
in petals of words,
that unfolded slowly,
beautifully,
perhaps for her first time,

she found herself in the slow blossom,

your gifts having allowed this...

your words alone

raining life.
=================================


I dont need to see the boxes...have seen the mirrors...
and this .... this is written on rose petals...exquisite SN ... truly.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2002-04-18 02:59 PM


"you said to her,

he’s boxed you
and you fight the POW containment
his memories are ghosts
they are not yours
step away from
the box"




BRAVO!!! Yes, yes, tuck away that box in the closet always as a scrapbook or an encyclopedia of your past and always let your words now be sprinkled with rosepetals! (sigh) This is excellent and provoking, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Soleil, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2002-04-18 03:49 PM


it was the rose you offered
in petals of words,
that unfolded slowly,
beautifully,
perhaps for her first time,
she found herself in the slow blossom,
your gifts having allowed this...
your words alone
raining life.

I breathe deep reading words such as these... when I'm through holding my breath. *S* This is beautiful!


Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
8 posted 2002-04-18 08:57 PM


it was the rose you offered
in petals of words,
that unfolded slowly,
beautifully,
perhaps for her first time,

she found herself in the slow blossom,

Romantically and beautifully expressed, Soleil...and also very pretty

~hugs~

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA
9 posted 2002-05-01 01:43 PM



Thank you all
for breathing through
this one
with me.

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