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Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

0 posted 2002-04-17 12:55 PM

Then We’ll Be Gone

And to the sea
this river flows
filled as it is
with aches and woes

I left behind
upon a shore
a love once known
but there no more

Along the way
in rapids crossed
like a capsized boat
my heart was tossed

This river runs
now cold as ice
and in her wake
I’ll pay the price

Though it will be
a heavy cost
it’s not quite true
that all is lost

I’m not alone
now passing piers
I am among
collected tears

We’ll pass by you
this quiet night
then we’ll be gone
before first light

So to the sea
this river goes
to emptiness
the ocean knows

©041102

[This message has been edited by Krawdad (04-17-2002 11:38 PM).]

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

1 posted 2002-04-17 12:58 PM

You're really pouring out the gems tonight, this is sadly beautiful

You use this metaphor very well. It's yet another keeper~

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

2 posted 2002-04-17 01:04 AM

e...there are many things i could say to you...and many things i could say about this poem...but only one comes to mind right now...you sir...are a fine poet...h

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-04-17 01:11 AM

I'm not alone
now passing piers
I am among
collected tears

We'll pass by you
this quiet night
then we'll be gone
before first light
===============================

this ones beauty is in its melancholy softness... in its hauntingly ethereal emote and imagery.

"I am among
collected tears"

what a very cool line and metaphor that is.
loved the cadence of this...a treat to read aloud.
Well done poet sir...good to see you posting again.

how about how good it feels to finally forgive you
~~~
the moment I jumped off of it ... was the moment I touched down.

~Alanis Morissette~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2002-04-17 08:25 AM

nicely done..flows down the page and off the tounge effortlessly...

I enjoyed

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2002-04-17 09:15 AM

Krawdad
An excellent write, enjoyed very much.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

6 posted 2002-04-17 10:50 AM

enjoyed

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

7 posted 2002-04-17 11:15 AM

I've read this a few times, and what strikes me the most about it is the rhythm of the meter. It reminded me of waves, hitting the side of a docked boat.

Nice work, e. It's good to see you back again, and writing so beautifully too!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2002-04-17 02:08 PM

Krawdad

Wonderfully done...your words took me into the river of your feelings.

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

9 posted 2002-04-17 02:26 PM

This leaves a feeling of lonliness and desolation and a very large ache....

Chelsea~
Member

since 2001-02-09

Posts 260
Ontario, CANADA

10 posted 2002-04-17 02:28 PM

krawdad,

Now this is great poetry!
Well presented.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

11 posted 2002-04-17 04:36 PM

This flows so beautifully... and leaves such a sad ache. *S* Very well written, Krawdad!

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

12 posted 2002-04-17 05:12 PM

(big hugggsssssss) This is soooooo sadly beautiful, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I hope now you have found clear sailing and you both have found your share of happiness! (sigh) This is fabulous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

CowgirlFreedom17
Member

since 2002-05-20

Posts 82
Mississippi

13 posted 2002-05-20 01:44 AM

Wonderful expressions and I adored the images. This poem is beautiful and full of emotion. Goo job.

You will never know anyone to the point we all deserve unless you give them a chance. Don't walk away from someone in tears. Don't give up on things

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

14 posted 2002-05-20 02:04 AM

Wow that's good stuff. Does the soul good.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

15 posted 2002-05-20 02:33 AM

Incredible. The flow of words is sad yet comforting, and just what I needed to read tonight.
Thank you.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

16 posted 2002-05-20 03:24 AM

I know only you could let these words flow like a river to the sea.

In admiration Sir

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

andEmmamakes3
Member

since 2002-05-11

Posts 66
Kent

17 posted 2002-05-20 07:28 AM

Kawad this is really special writing soul’s tears and the river flows on

Its Mushy’s youngest daughter here<>
lots of love
Emma

Eternity, stands laughing at old time
for ages? In the grand ancestral line
Of things eternal, mounting to divine

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