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Open Poetry #20
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Circuitous
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Circuitous |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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It seems I am always going somewhere But never really getting anywhere Perhaps a destination of nowhere Is the answer that I need. You once looked my way; I was so flattered But I know I never really mattered And now all remaining hope is shattered I should gracefully concede. Your time and attention are now bequeathed To a callous creature of such conceit I can only admit total defeat And leave my sad heart to bleed. I run away, when what I want to lose Is this person that you will never choose. These aching feet now walking in my shoes Head towards hell, picking up speed. |
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| © Copyright 2002 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
I run away, when what I want to lose Is this person that you will never choose. These aching feet now walking in my shoes ouch lady...we must have the same feet *shakes her head*........you paint this feeling well.......sigh...I love the way you write  |
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haydenjames Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 164Antigua & Barbuda |
make that three pairs... good write. My poetry is at: http://www.thehayden.org |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Who can run away from the desire to be noticed...James |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) We all understand how you feel, sweet friend, sometimes we are never certain where we are going but I know deep down we are going somewhere spiritually if not physically and we will find all the answers ahead! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SweetSuthernGal~ Oh ... those blistered feet~ Sometimes the roundabout route is the scenic route~  Affording the most mileage ... but also the most wear and tear~ *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wow! Love this and I can relate. Excellent thoughts and word choice. ~Hugs~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You once looked my way; I was so flattered But I know I never really mattered And now all remaining hope is shattered I should gracefully concede. ================================== I run away, when what I want to lose Is this person that you will never choose. These aching feet now walking in my shoes Head towards hell, picking up speed. No one could ever accuse you of writing circuitously...your aching words always have impact...the reader cant help but feel them... the last two lines of this make my point for me. And as always your cadence and sense of rhyme impress..love the clever rhyme scheme you chose for this, good to see a post from you Ruth-girlie. jm how about how good it feels to finally forgive you |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Great write....and the rhyme scheme was superb...like how you wrote this....might give it a go myself.. |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
I agree with Barry..love the rhyme scheme..nicely done ~Victoria |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
jellybeans: Since we can't seem to change our feet, perhaps we should upgrade and stop wearing PayLess shoes? LOL. Thank you, dear friend... that "love the way you write" thing is definitely reciprocated. *S* haydenjames: I'm sorry you've known that path and pain... but am very glad you liked the write. *S* Thank you very much! James Michael: Thank you so much for reading. *S* M'toe Angel: I sure do wish those answers weren't so shy about revealing themselves. *S* Thank you very much for your kind response and the hugs... both are appreciated. *S* Marge: Yeppers. *G* But with enough excess mileage and wear and tear, who notices the scenery? LOL Thank you very much! *S* Enchantress: Thank you so much... your wow gave me a great big smile! *S* Janet Marie: But the thoughts, the thoughts... how they do meander! LOL An old song keeps coming to mind "will it go round in circles?" *G* Thank you very much... I'm so glad you liked. *S* Magnus: Thank you, kind sir... your "superb" is appreciated more than I can say. *S* And I wish you would try it... I'd love to read someone else's words in the pattern that's most "natural" for me. *S* Victoria: Your kind comments mean so much to me... I thank you very much! |
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