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Open Poetry #20
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Thin Air
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Thin Air |
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Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
Thin air leaves me gasping on mountain’s peak no...wait... that is your private mountain allowing my be here causing air to thin making me gulp deep breaths you play with clay, forming peaks from soft to hard sculpting well even leaving drifts of imaginary snow on Big Bear as I watch, you make me miss ~ things ~ make me feel as if such a command could come from fingertips and I miss the tense would a lady's lips slip out words to take you away from your intent, or use words to convey her own intentions would your ear cringe seeing what you want but hearing what she needs so you unwind her sails there on the mountain peaks letting her fly solo while below she watches as you allow soft mounds of clay to hold in mist while you fog her hills and kiss her valleys that beg to be snow covered just to allow her the thin air, reminding her why California sighs |
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| © Copyright 2002 Soleil Noir - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I really don't know where to begin..I loved it all... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Sol, I am speechless, which seldom happens. This is...this is..incredible, awesome, sensual, and enticing! I love it, and just had to get my reply in before all the superlatives had been used. Well done! ~Hugs~ |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
The air is not so thin, where words breathe. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
This is really deep and intense. You've said so many things here. Well done! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Soleil Noir An unusual read, enjoyed. |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
All the above... and so much more ~~ Connie ~~ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
perhaps, my friend, the air is not so thin after all. . . much to think about here. . . well done. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
it's not called the Golden State for nothing. Maybe it has to do with the prices and State Income tax there  |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
every single word...loving it and understanding it |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Soleil darling girl, magnifique mesdames, n’est ce pas? Tu ecrie cela lui tient a coeur. Padon mon cheri, j’ai palais Anglaise. This is very very close to my heart, I can hear this inside, loud and clear. Really well written, i love this utterly utterly As always Mushy    To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed this much |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Wow! What a spectacular and sensual write! So much can be read from and into the subtle words written.... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
you play with clay, forming peaks from soft to hard sculpting well ======================== as I watch, you make me miss ~ things ~ make me feel as if such a command could come from fingertips and I miss the tense would a lady's lips slip out words to take you away from your intent, or use words to convey her own intentions would your ear cringe seeing what you want but hearing what she needs so you unwind her sails there on the mountain peaks letting her fly solo while below she watches as you allow soft mounds of clay to hold in mist while you fog her hills and kiss her valleys =================================== Soleil ... me thinks you could move some moutains of your own with this kind of intensity and longing.... I felt the tremors from here...well, I felt something  teeheevery impressive write here poetess Noir ... the imagery is fresh and the analogy laced with sensuality is done to poetic perfection. You keep "peaking" like this and youre gonna melt that snow. *L* |
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Mark Coburn Member
since 2002-01-24
Posts 71 |
taking me on a climb to the heights of inspiration ...thanx.... mark |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Picturesque and picaresque as well. Enjoyed the read. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) This is sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, your gorgeous words always sigh with loves joy! (big hugggssssss) This is breathtakjing, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Soleil, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Speechless here, except for, wow! |
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Chelsea~ Member
since 2001-02-09
Posts 260Ontario, CANADA |
soleil noir, here's a 'wow' from me too, this is amazing writing |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
noir... could be the sierras could be the dunes at pismo could be a woman finding herself damp in her dream residue enjoyed all it could be from your words |
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