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Open Poetry #20
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I Left You Standing...
| Open Poetry #20 |
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I Left You Standing... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
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I left you standing on that corner... Along with the pieces of a shattered heart. As tears fell freely, I quietly walked away. Your sight faded slowly from my eyes. My feet felt like lead, I could not move. Traffic whizzing past me, unseen to me. My throat wanted to scream, only squeaked Sobs were the last sounds from my lips.. I hear your voice, I play it back, time and again. Until I get to that one part when... When my heart stopped beating. Life ceased, and pain began. Our moon, once bright, now covered by clouds. The shimmer of stars unseen as darkness surrounds. A gentle breeze once flowing, now stilled. Silence surrounds me. Only in sleep shall I again smile.. Fires of passion burn hot. Tendrils of smoke wisp into the night You, in flowing gown, await me there. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) This is sooooo powerfully heartaching, sweet friend, I hope this is only fictional, though I know many people truly do relate to this kind of experience and my heart goes out to them all and that they can find comfort in their dreams until love in serendipity is found behind the next corner! (sigh) This is sensitive and fabulous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barry, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (04-09-2002 06:49 PM).] |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
...Only in sleep shall I again smile... Gosh, I hope this isn't true. I would hate to think of you being so sad. Your words were very moving. Hugs, Marti " My wrinkles are badges of courage and reveal that I am a Mother." |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Marti....NOPE...not real, thank goodness.. I don't think I could handle that... Noah, thanx my fine young friend... |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Magnus darling boy as always you write with such skill and beauty I really found this excellent poem wonderful. The sadness of a hearts dying whisper, Well done darling heart, very very well done. This poem contains some amazingly beautiful lines, the flow is utterly utterly divine, and I love it I truly do. Oh how I wish I could write like this, and I’m so very pleased it’s not real. But I can hear the heart breaking from here this is seriously good. Wonderful writing absolutely wonderful As always Mushy    To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
very powerful words Magnus...very powerful indeed. Well done!! Like a red brick, |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Barry...this is excellent! You write sadness and despair very well. Good to know you are okay though...  ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
MUSHY!!! Thanx and glad the wench is not lighting her fires rightnow... GS....thank you very much...When I am having trouble rhyming, I do things like this... Easier to put on paper while my mind is whirring away at another style of poetry... Nancy....thank you lady, no...I am not hurting ... and all is OK, thanx for the hugs....big ones back HUGSSSSS... |
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Ariana Senior Member
since 2000-10-08
Posts 571Orlando, Florida |
Mangus Thank God it is not real - there was so much pain in your words and I felt if it were real, you needed more than a few hugs. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Exceptionally well expressed, I have been there and felt every word. My library must have this Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
What...have you been writing ALL night!? I'm jealous...I've been to meetings and readings.... more please... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Magnus~ Greatly enjoyed the realistic feeling in this piece~ 'I hear your voice, I play it back, time and again. Until I get to that one part when... When my heart stopped beating. Life ceased, and pain began.' I think we've probably all had this experience at some time in our lives~ Nicely done~ *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Magnus~ You are truly talented to express this pain so perceptively. I am in awe and at the same time deeply saddened by your words. ~Krista Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Barry Your words often move me and this was certainly no exception. "I left you standing on the corner Along with the pieces of a shattered heart" These words got to me instantly and the rest followed suit. Beautifully done by a magical hand. Take care........Sue Suetang |
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Helea Junior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 15Canada |
Wow...I can relate to this more than you can imagine... |
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