navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #25 » Clementine
Open Poetry #25
Post A Reply Post New Topic Clementine Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2003-04-12 11:51 PM




Was passing through the other day
lookin' to stop by and do some catching up
just me an' the good ol' boys
while my horse was being fitted for new shoes.

I missed those folks somethin' fierce  
even though they were always gawking at Clementine
couldn't blame them for staring at her.
She was such a pretty gal, right from the day she was born.

I seen her act before and read some magazine stories
the lady could dance the can can
better than any country bum I ever saw.
I was right partial and proud, being her sister and all.

She nicknamed me Missy
I kinda preferred it that way
the fact that she made it stick
and always did right by me.

I couldn't shuck corn like Clementine but I wasn't half bad.
She was good at what she done.  
I was into roping and rodeos, and other stuff like that.  
Fixing to find me a real cowboy, but no one ever looked at me,
not the way Jackson looked at Clementine.

Oh sure he kept his hands in his pockets where they belonged  
while watching every move she made.
Hell, he wore his hat so far down over his eyes
you'd think he was playing her for a fool.
It wasn't no secret they had something purty special going between them two.

He came and went for long periods at a time.
Lord knows why they kept at it,
and what the attraction was all about.
Must have been in love or some fool thang or another.
Bless their hearts.  

I just wanted a cold beer and a mosey on up.  
Never was much good at small talk
the town folk kept the conversation going
and whispered soft talk stuff like that
trading favors every other round.

I stayed long enough to use the ladies room
thinking I might untangle my curls tame
and sure nuff Clem came storming in after me
going on and on how she had a mind
to use poor Jackson for target practice
if he didn't come around some.
Damn girl could trip her own trigger
and aim it right through her soft spot if she wasn't careful.

I could see the fire in her eyes starting to burn  
and I always felt so bad for her when she was balling.
I told her I might be coming back through in a month or two
and maybe we could take a ride
if she felt like talking about it.  

But she was hollering that the show must go on,
and we both knew it wasn't going anywhere without her.  
About the same time I saw Jackson throwing back another shot of whiskey
right when Clementine came out strutting her stuff,
making eye contact with every fella in the saloon.
  
I could tell by lookin', he never loved no one like he loved her
but for the life of me I caint understand
why they were always at a stand off with each other.
Such a crying shame to be acting like stubborn fools
when the one you love is up there on stage dancing just for you.

I left a note
reminding him that life is too short,  
and how they deserved one another, rightly so.
But I reckon he never read it
probably used it to wipe the drool off his chin.

Well now, I got some knots to tie and a rodeo to ride.
Gonna go pick up my horse and head out about now.




[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (04-13-2003 01:09 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2003-04-13 12:28 PM


BluesSerenade - I could read your thoughts like this all night. Excellent write. Oh that Clementine...

BC

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2003-04-13 12:29 PM


Bluesy -

you roped a beauty here:

Damn girl could trip her own trigger
and aim it right through her soft spot if she wasn't careful.


glad I came to this part o' town
*wink*

needed a bedtime story
(not that I sleep)
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (04-13-2003 12:30 AM).]

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2003-04-13 12:43 PM




Lori,

I enjoy stories like these. My favorite line?

"When the one you love
is up there on stage
dancing just for you"

Good imagery...neat character, that Missy!!!

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
4 posted 2003-04-13 01:09 AM


Lori,
There you go tellin' stories! Cool...a style I haven't seen from you before. Nicely done.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2003-04-13 01:21 AM


Hey Lori...just look at you...what a great story teller you are!  Much enjoyed!
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2003-04-13 02:14 AM


Thank you guys,
you are just too nice and I appreciate your comments so much, especailly when I'm experimenting.

I suppose my message was,

1~ Sisterly love
2~ Not comparing ourselves to others
3~ Recognizing love when we see it
4~ Doing our own thang~

Just me trying to tell a good story~
Thank you, sincerely~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2003-04-13 08:21 AM


Oh my darlin Clementine...sounds like a secret love affair perhaps...yep, I think so...James
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2003-04-13 10:39 AM


Hey, a nice little vignette here -- enjoyed it top to bottom!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
9 posted 2003-04-13 11:13 AM


Doggone good readin'. Love the turn taken here in your writing....yep
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
10 posted 2003-04-13 07:00 PM




Lori,

I really do like this and noticed some of your other poetry. Just commenting how multi-talented you are. Very new for you...enjoy greatly...

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2003-04-13 08:39 PM


Lori,
Quite the change of pace for you
and I very much enjoyed it.  
Fantastic imagery!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
12 posted 2003-04-13 09:43 PM


great title - too much to resist.

gorgeous story. a fellow i know coined a term: prosetry - this certainly is it. the flow was good and the slang gave it a nice tone.

well done.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

13 posted 2003-04-14 03:56 PM


Great story poem!!!!!  For a bit, I thought you wanted to join Iambe's extended family and were writing about the Jackson character I write sometimes.  Give it a thought, why don't ya.....seem to have a knack for storytelling!!!!  
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #25 » Clementine

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary